se numbers and pays his shilling, half-crown, or even
sovereign. Then these numbers are put up at auction. An improvised
auctioneer, with the gift of the gab, puts his talent at the service of
his fellow-passengers. It is really very funny to see him swaying about
the smoking-room table, and using all his eloquence over each number in
turn for sale. A good auctioneer will run the bidding so smartly that
the winner of the pool next day often pockets as much as thirty and
forty pounds. On the eve of arrival in New York harbor, everybody knows
that twenty-four pilots are waiting about for the advent of the liner,
and that each boat carries her number on her sail. Accordingly,
twenty-four numbers are rolled up and thrown into a cap, and betting
begins again. He who has drawn the number which happens to be that of
the pilot who takes the steamer into harbor pockets the pool.

I, who have never bet on anything in my life, even bet with my traveling
companion, when the rolling of the ship sends our portmanteaus from one
side of the cabin to the other, that mine will arrive first.
Intellectual faculties on board are reduced to this ebb.

* * * * *

The nearest approach to a gay note, in this concert of groans and
grumblings, is struck by some humorous and good-tempered American. He
will come and ask you the most impossible questions with an ease and
impudence perfectly inimitable. These catechisings are all the more
droll because they are done with a _naivete_ which completely disarms
you. The phrase is short, without verb, reduced to its most concise
expression. The intonation alone marks the interrogation. Here is a
specimen.

We have on board the _Celtic_ an American who is not a very shrewd
person, for it has actually taken him five days to discover that English
is not my native tongue. This morning (December 30) he found it out,
and, being seated near me in the smoke-room, has just had the following
bit of conversation with me:

"Foreigner?" said he.

"Foreigner," said I, replying in American.

"German, I guess."

"Guess again."

"French?"

"Pure blood."

[Illustration: "GOING TO AMERICA?"]

"Married?"

"Married."

"Going to America?"

"Yes--evidently."

"Pleasure trip?"

"No."

"On business?"

"On business, yes."

"What's your line?"

"H'm--French goods."

"Ah! what class of goods?"

"_L'article de Paris._"

"The what?"

"The _ar-ti-cle de Pa-ris_."