s sent
only private circulars to the intelligent, well-to-do inhabitants of the
place--or, I said to myself, perhaps the house is all sold, and he has
no need of any further advertisements.

I should very much like to know.

* * * * *

Sometimes, however, it is a mistake to advertise a lecture too widely.
You run the risk of getting the wrong people.

A few years ago, in Dundee, a little corner gallery, placed at the end
of the hall where I was to speak, was thrown open to the public at
sixpence. I warned the manager that I was no attraction for the sixpenny
public; but he insisted on having his own way.

The hall was well filled, but not the little gallery, where I counted
about a dozen people. Two of these, however, did not remain long, and,
after the lecture, I was told that they had gone to the box-office and
asked to have their money returned to them. "Why," they said, "it's a
d---- swindle; it's only a man talking."

The man at the box-office was a Scotchman, and it will easily be
understood that the two sixpences remained in the hands of the
management.

* * * * *

I can well remember how startled I was, two years ago, on arriving in an
American town where I was to lecture, to see the walls covered with
placards announcing my lecture thus: "He is coming, ah, ha!" And after I
had arrived, new placards were stuck over the old ones: "He has arrived,
ah, ha!"

In another American town I was advertised as "the best paying platform
celebrity in the world." In another, in the following way: "If you would
grow fat and happy, go and hear Max O'Rell to-night."

One of my Chicago lectures was advertised thus: "Laughter is restful. If
you desire to feel as though you had a vacation for a week, do not fail
to attend this lecture."

I was once fortunate enough to deal with a local manager who, before
sending it to the newspapers, submitted to my approbation the following
advertisement, of which he was very proud. I don't know whether it was
his own literary production, or whether he had borrowed it of a showman
friend. Here it is:

TWO HOURS OF UNALLOYED FUN AND HAPPINESS

Will put two inches of solid fat even upon the ribs of the most
cadaverous old miser. Everybody shouts peals of laughter as the rays
of fun are emitted from this famous son of merry-makers.

[Illustration: AS JOHN BULL.]

I threatened to refuse to appear if the advert