amily, has come nearer to solving
the great problem of life, 'How to be happy,' than the American who
sticks on his door: 'Gone to dinner, shall be back in five minutes.' You
eat too fast, and I understand why your antidyspeptic pill-makers cover
your walls, your forests even, with their advertisements."

And I named the firm of pill-makers.

The letter is from them. They offer me $1000 if I will repeat the
phrase at every lecture I give during my tour in the United States.

[Illustration: WHERE INDIGESTION IS MANUFACTURED.]

You may imagine if I will be careful to abstain in the future.

* * * * *

I lectured to-night before the members of the Thursday Club--a small,
but very select audience, gathered in the drawing-room of one of the
members. The lecture was followed by a _conversazione_. A very pleasant
evening.

I left the house at half-past eleven. The night was beautiful. I walked
to the hotel, along Fifth Avenue to Madison Square, and along Broadway
to Union Square.

What a contrast to the great thoroughfares of London! Thousands of
people here returning from the theaters and enjoying their walks,
instead of being obliged to rush into vehicles to escape the sights
presented at night by the West End streets of London. Here you can walk
at night with your wife and daughter, without the least fear of their
coming into contact with flaunting vice.

* * * * *

Excuse a reflection on a subject of a very domestic character. My
clothes have come from the laundress with the bill.

Now let me give you a sound piece of advice.

When you go to America, bring with you a dozen shirts. No more. When
these are soiled, buy a new dozen, and so on. You will thus get a supply
of linen for many years to come, and save your washing bills in America,
where the price of a shirt is much the same as the cost of washing it.

* * * * *

_January 10._

I was glad to see Bill Nye again. He turned up at the Everett House this
morning. I like to gaze at his clean-shaven face, that is seldom broken
by a smile, and to hear his long, melancholy drawl. His lank form, and
his polished dome of thought, as he delights in calling his joke box,
help to make him so droll on the platform. When his audience begins to
scream with laughter, he stops, looks at them in astonishment; the
corners of his mouth drop and an expression of sadness comes