er bedroom. On
questioning her maid on the subject, she received incoherent answers.
Suspicion that the maid was the thief arose in her mind, and----

A long paragraph in this dry style will be published in the _Times_, or
any other London morning paper.

Now, the American reporter will be required to bring something a little
more entertaining if he hopes to be worth his salt on the staff of his
paper, and he will probably get up an account of the case somewhat in
the following fashion:

Mary Jane So-and-so is a pretty little brunette of some twenty
summers. On looking in the glass at her dainty little ears, she
fancied how lovely a pair of diamond earrings would look in them. So
one day she thought she would try on those of her mistress. How lovely
she looked! said the looking-glass, and the Mephistopheles that is
hidden in the corner of every man or woman's breast suggested that she
should keep them. This is how Mary Jane found herself in trouble,
etc., etc.

The whole will read like a little story, probably entitled something
like "Another Gretchen gone wrong through the love of jewels."

The heading has to be thought of no less than the paragraph. Not a line
is to be dull in a paper sparkling all over with eye-ticklers of all
sorts. Oh! those delicious headings that would resuscitate the dead, and
make them sit up in their graves!

A Tennessee paper which I have now under my eyes announces the death of
a townsman with the following heading:

"At ten o'clock last night Joseph W. Nelson put on his angel plumage."

* * * * *

"Racy, catching advertisements supplied to the trade," such is the
announcement that I see in the same paper. I understand the origin of
such literary productions as the following, which I cull from a Colorado
sheet:

This morning our Saviour summoned away the jeweler William T. Sumner,
of our city, from his shop to another and a better world. The
undersigned, his widow, will weep upon his tomb, as will also his two
daughters, Maud and Emma, the former of whom is married, and the other
is open to an offer. The funeral will take place to-morrow. Signed.
His disconsolate widow, Mathilda Sumner.

_P. S._--This bereavement will not interrupt our business, which will
be carried on as usual, only our place of business will be removed
from Washington Street to No. 17 St. Paul Street, as our grasping
landlord has raised