in a small town, and they lived
comfortably. The silver wedding festivities took place in their own
house. At dinner the girl drank some wine and felt it had gone to her
head. She left the table, saying to her mother, "I am going to lie down
in my room for a little while." But on the way she turned so giddy that
she went by mistake into a spare room that was occupied by a cavalry
officer, a cousin of her mother's. Too tired to go a step farther, she
fell asleep on a sofa in the darkened room. A little later she woke, and
heard the sounds of music and dancing downstairs, but felt no
inclination to join in the gaiety. Presently she dropped off again, and
when she roused for the second time she was aware of whispers near her
couch. In the first moment of awakening she felt ashamed of being caught
there by some of the guests. She held her breath and lay very still.
Then she recognized her mother's voice. After a few minutes she grasped
the truth.... Her mother, whom she worshipped, and this officer, whom
she admired in a childish way!

They lit the candles. She forced herself to lie motionless, and feigned
to be fast asleep. She heard her mother's exclamation of horror:
"Jeanne!" And the captain's words:

"Thank goodness she is sleeping like a log!"

Her mother rearranged her disordered hair, and they left the room.

After a few minutes she returned with a lamp, calling out:

"Jeanne, where are you, child? We have been searching all over the
house!"

Her pretended astonishment when she discovered the girl made the whole
scene more painful to Jeanne. But gathering up her self-control as best
she could, she succeeded in replying:

"I am so tired: let me have my sleep out."

Her mother bent over her and kissed her several times. The child felt as
though she would die while submitting to these caresses.

This one hour, with its cruel enlightenment, sufficed to destroy
Jeanne's joy in life for ever. At the same time it filled her mind with
impure thoughts that haunted her night and day. She matured
precociously in the atmosphere of her own despair.

There was no one in whom she could confide; alone she bore the weight of
a double secret, either of which was enough to crush her youth.

She could not bear to look her mother in the face. With her father, too,
she felt ill at ease, as though she had in some way wronged him.
Everything was soiled for her. She had but one desire; to get away from
home.

About two years