ime, did picture me a
prowling beast, beside the sea, all spotted o'er with signs, "F.E."
That patronymic thus will be preserved for immortality. Newspapers,
too, I chance to see sometimes apply that name to me.

Although I found smart repartee, shot forth from back seats, gave me
glee, still I aspired to climb the tree, so with restrained temerity
I donned a gown of silk, i.e. became a fully-fledged K.C. Then, after
able A.J.B. was shunted by his great party and A.B.L. assumed the see,
the latter's finger beckoned me to face direct the enemy. Anon the
KING created me a member of his own P.C.

And then "the active life" for me, as Galloper to "Gen'ral" C.,
the loyal Ulsterman, to free from acts of Irish devilry. I thanked
"whatever gods may be" for training with the Yeomanry!

Then came the war with Germany. Alas, again I sighed, "Ah me," and
viewed the aspect gloomily, for I was then in apogee from all that
mighty company that domineered the H. of C. A. ruled the roast, not
A.J.B. But happy thought, that company of muddlers held one hope for
me--my constant pal of Yeomanry, the smashing, dashing WINSTON C.;
result--the Censorship for me. But not for long. The fresh and free
and open air was calling me, so off I went across the sea to join the
fighting soldiery. But soon there came a call for me, and back I came
across the sea to be His Majesty's S.-G.

What next was I? Eureka! "_The_ Right Hon. _Sir_ F.E. SMITH, K.C."

Then came the storm. Sir EDWARD C. threw up his job and let in me,
before I scarce could laugh, "He, he!" to be His Majesty's A.-G. That
wasn't bad, I think, for me--a mild young man of forty-three!

Next came "the quiet life" for me. I held my tongue, but drew my fee
and eke my A.-G. salary. Not e'en the great calamity that overtook
A.'s Ministry and raised the wizard, D.L.G., to offices of high degree
disturbed my sweet serenity. Nor did I jib when Sir R.B. FINLAY took
on unblushingly the job that seemed cut out for me. Unwilling _he_ his
weird to dree! _I_ whispered, "Mum's the word for me!"

Now, after waiting patiently, as fits a man of my degree, the Woolsack
cries aloud for me, and soft and soothing it will be to my whole frame
and dignity. And unto those who wish from me to know what will the
ending be of my august biography, I answer in a minor key and classic
language, "Wait and see!"

* * * * *

TRANSFORMATION.

My house, which I am trying to let, is