s quite easy." And I
repeated the question.

"I don't know, Sir; I don't never have no truck with butchers," he
declared emphatically. "I leaves that 'ere to the missus."

"Ah!" I said, "and how does _she_ get the money to pay him?"

"_I_ gives it 'er," said Goodbody.

"What does she do with the change?" I asked next.

"Gives it back to me, I reck'n," he answered.

"Well," I continued, "if you don't know how much change there ought
to be when you give her a pound and she spends sixteen shillings and
three pence halfpenny, how do you know she gives you back the right
amount?"

Private Goodbody eyed me with something suspiciously like contempt.

"If my missus started playin' any o' them monkey tricks on me, givin'
the wrong change an' sich, I'd put it acrost 'er," he said.

And there the matter rests for the present. I feel that I should not
lead Private Goodbody any further into the intricacies of his subject
until he has solved my problem. This he resolutely professes himself
unable to do, and begs to be allowed to leave it and plunge into the
giddy vortex of the multiplication table.

Yours faithfully, MENTOR.

* * * * *

"A cable message of 100 words from London to Johannesburg to-day,
at 2s. 6d. a word, costs L1 10s."--_Evening Paper_.

We suppose the Post Office makes a reduction for taking a quantity.

* * * * *

THE WIND.

The day I saw the Wind I stood
All by myself inside our wood,
Where Nurse had told me I must wait
While she went back through the white gate
To fetch her work ... I don't know why,
But suddenly I felt quite shy
With all the trees when Nurse was gone,
For quietness came on and on
And covered me right round as though
I was just nobody, you know,
And not a little girl at all...
But _then_--quite sudden--HER torn shawl
Came through the trees; I saw it gleam,
And SHE was near. Just like a dream
She looked at me. Her lovely hair
Was waving, waving everywhere,
And from her shawl--all tattery--
There blew the sweetest scents to me.
I didn't ask her who she was;
I didn't _need_ to ask, because
I _knew!_ ... That's all ... She didn't wait;
She _went_--when Nurse called through the gate.

* * * * *

"HOT WATER BATTLES--Best quality rubber, from 4/3 each." --_Parish
Magazine_.

A new kind of tank warfare, we suppose.