s a humbler air.

My milkman was a man of wrath
As he came down the garden path;
But, since the Hohenzollern fell,
I find him almost affable.

And what is this? My greengrocer
(A most determined character)
Approaches--'13 style--to say,
"What can I do for you to-day?"

* * * * *

"GERMAN CONSTITUTION.

Bill Disposing of Old Prussia."

_Manchester Guardian_.

Tit for tat; Prussia had already disposed of Old BILL.

* * * * *

"Mr. Cecil Harmswirth has vacated his iffict in the 'gardtn
suburb' at 0. Downing Strtet."--_Daily Mail_.

To the evident consternation of Carmelite Street.

* * * * *

"'I am an A.B.C. girl,' said a passenger to _The Daily Mirror_,
'and have been eleven hours on my feet. If a get a seat in the
Dulwich omnibus, I shall have another hour's standing before I
get to my house.'"--_Daily Mirror_.

It seems to be high time that the omnibus company adopted the railway
regulation, "Passengers are requested not to put their feet on the
seats, etc."

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE NEW COMMERCIAL TRAVELLER.

PUCK, R.A.F. (_to SHAKSPEARE_). "YOUR IDEA OF A GIRDLE ROUND ABOUT THE
EARTH IN FORTY MINUTES IS A BIT TALL, BUT YOU BET YOUR IMMORTALITY WE
SHALL GET AS NEAR IT AS WE CAN."]

* * * * *

F. E.

_A SIMPLE BIOGRAPHIC RECITATIVE BASED ON THE TONIC SOL-FA NOTE OF MI._

In ante-bellum days, ah me, when I a stuffman used to be, and proudly
pouched a junior's fee, the _Law List_ styled me "Smith, F.E." Oh,
how my place seemed small for me; not that I scorned the stuffman's
fee, but stuffy courts did not agree with me. I dearly longed to be
respiring often, fresh and free, the breath that was the life of me,
so I became a live M.P. And, lest the spacious H. of C. should fail to
hold sufficiently the lot of air respired by me, said I, "A soldier
I will be--not one of Foot (that's Infantry), nor yet the reg'lar
Cavalry, for barrack-life will not suit me, yet ride I must the high
gee-gee;" so I decided straight to be an officer of Yeomanry. Drilling
the troopers on the lea, the vent I craved for gave to me. Moreover,
on my high gee-gee I learned what galloping could be.

Those back-bench days! Ah me, ah me, rude Members christened me "F.E."
And even _Punch_, in kindly glee, once on a t