to sob on his bosom and mingle her whiskers with his.

[Illustration: "I Will Hold You Responsible for This!"]

Pa yelled for help, and I thought it was time for me to be doing
something, so I went outside the office to the fire alarm box and
touched a button, and then I run like thunder for the police, and the
firemen came with the extinguishers and began to throw chemically
charged water into the room, and the police dragged out the fat woman,
who had fainted, and the living skeleton, whom she had pulled down into
her lap, and laid them out in the ring, and then they got hold of pa and
pulled him out, and the bearded woman had fainted in pa's arms and the
stove was tipped over and was setting fire to the furniture and they
brought the bearded woman and the fat woman to their senses by pouring
water on them from a hose. Finally they were sent to their quarters, and
the other owner of the show came to pa and said he hoped this would be
the last of that kind of business, as long as pa remained with the show,
that one of the rules was that no man in an executive capacity must
under any circumstances take any liberties with any of the females
connected with the show.

Pa was hot, and said when women got crazy in love no man was safe, and
the other owner of the show said that was all right this time, but not
to let it occur again, and pa tried to explain how the bearded woman
came to jump on to him and faint in his arms, but the owner said: "That
is all right, but you can't hold 'em in your arms before folks," and
then pa offered to whip any man who said he was in love with any bearded
woman, and he pulled off his coat. Just then I came along and told the
whole story, and then the crowd all had a good laugh, and pa took them
all out and treated.

I guess it is all settled now, 'cause the living skeleton and the fat
woman have got permission to get married, the bearded lady is sweet on
pa, and a girl has just joined the show, who walks a wire, and she says
I am about the sweetest thing that ever came down the pike, and I guess
this show business is all right, all right.

April 21.--We are getting acquainted with the animals, and it is just
like going into society.

There is the aristocracy, which consists of the high born animals, the
middle class and the low down, common herd, and when you go among the
animals as strangers you are received just as you would be in society.
If you are properly introduced to the elephant