ay over here," and he was going to bring it
in, when the farmer found the head was alive, and he ran away from it.

In an hour we had everybody out, and made beds for them by spreading out
hay cocks, and nobody seemed to be hurt so very much. We heard a
locomotive whistle up the road, and some one said the relief train was
coming with doctors and nurses, but the show owner who was with us said:
"Relief doctors, nothing. That is a train-load of lawyers and claim
agents to settle with us. The doctors will not come till to-morrow. Now,
everybody pretend to be hurt awful bad, and strike the sharks for
$10,000 apiece, and come down to $100, if you can't do any better."

It was getting daylight, and the relief train stopped, and the good
Samaritans came wading into the hay marsh, bent on settling with us
cheap. The first lawyer asked the principal owner how many were killed,
'cause they could figure exactly how much they have to pay for a dead
one, but the live ones are the ones that make trouble for a railroad,
'cause they can kick and argue. The boss said nobody was dead, but the
giant, who was mired in out of sight. The giant heard what was said, and
he yelled that he was alive, and wouldn't settle for less than $20,000,
but the claim agent said the giant would be dead in 15 minutes in that
quicksand, so he would let him sink, and pay for him as a dead one.

The giant said if they would pull him out of the mud he would settle for
$100, and they pulled him out, and the rest of the injured were going to
mob him for settling so cheap.

One of the claim agents found the bearded woman sitting on a hay cock,
combing out her whiskers, and asked what it would take to settle, and
she said $10,000, and she got up and walked over to another hay cock
where the Circassian beauty was drying her hair, and the claim agent
looked at how spry the bearded woman walked, and he said to the boss: "I
won't give that fellow with the curly whiskers a single kopeck," and the
bearded woman came back and swatted the claim agent for calling her a
fellow. So they compromised on $200, and she went behind the haystack
and put it in her stocking, which convinced the claim agent that she
wasn't a man.

A near-sighted claim agent came to the haystack where the fat woman was,
and the boss told her now was her time to have a mess of hysterics, so
she set up a cry that scared the agent, who thought there were at least
six women on the haystack, and he said