tate precisely how long
'Twill take you to get the next batch to Hong Kong!
For you talk in a not very confident way
Of those that are destined to guard Table Bay.
Your speech, too, with doubt seems decidedly laden,
When noting the present defences of Aden.
Though you finish the list with the news, meant to cheer
That Ceylon "should be" safe by the end of the year.
You think, to sum up, that a gratified nation
Should greet your glad statement with wild jubilation!
Well, the country does not get too often a chance
Of an honest excuse for a genuine dance,
And would step it quite gladly, if only assured
It could once from old dodges feel safely secured,
Being certain its guns, before setting to caper,
Do not exist merely on War-Office paper!

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH'S DICTIONARY OF PHRASES.

[Illustration]

SOCIAL.

"_You are one of the few people with whom I can really enjoy a quiet
talk, all to our two selves_;" _i.e._, "I should be very sorry to
introduce you to any of _my_ set."

"_What, YOU here?_"; _i.e._, "Wonder how the deuce this confounded cad
got an invitation."

"_Ah, by the way, just let me introduce you to Farrodust. You two
fellows ought to know each other_;" _i.e._, "Call that killing two
_bores_ with one stone."

"_Thanks for a most delightful evening. So sorry to have to run away_;"
_i.e._, "Bored to extinction, and fairly famished. Must run down to the
Club for a snack and a smoke."

"_I'll look at my list when I get home_;" _i.e._, "You don't catch me."

"_Drop in any day_;" _i.e._, "When the chances are I shan't be in."

"_No party_;" _i.e._, "Must ask him, and do it as cheaply as possible."

"_Come as you are_;" _i.e._, "Be careful to wear evening dress."

"_Don't trouble to answer_;" _i.e._, "Think it very rude if you don't."

"_What! going already!_" _i.e._, "Thank goodness! Thought she'd never
move."

"_What a fine child!_" _i.e._, "Don't know whether the brat is a boy or
girl, but must say something."

(_To be continued._)

* * * * *

MODERN TYPES.

(_By Mr. Punch's Own Type-Writer._)

No. VI.--THE POLITICAL WOMAN.

THE Political Woman is one upon whom, if she may be believed, the world
has never smiled. She avenges herself by recounting her wrongs and those
of her sex to all who can be induced to listen to her. In early youth
she will have taught herself by a superficial study