we are nearing!
Yes, but I know _they_'re ahead!

Then is the toiling and straining
Out of the tail of my eye
Somehow I see we are gaining--
Look at the wash running by!
Now, in the minutes remaining,
Somehow we'll do it, or die.

There are blades flashing beside us,
Dropping astern one by one.
Now they creep up--they have tied us--
No! The spurt dies--they are done!
Gods of the 'Varsity guide us!--
Bang! "Easy all!" We have won!

* * * * *

THE Coal Strike was easily settled, as all that had to be discussed were
"Miner Considerations."

* * * * *

"FOR THIS RELIEF, MUCH THANKS!"

"As a sign of this gratitude, I confer upon you the dignity of Duke
of LAUENBURG, and shall also send you my life-sized Portrait."--_The
German Emperor to Prince Bismarck._

GOD bless you, dear Prince! Since your purpose is fixed,
It is useless, I know, to dissuade you.
I permit you to go, though my feelings are mixed,
And unmake, as my grandfather made, you.
Yet deem not ungrateful your Emperor and King;
Let me pay you my thanks at the Court rate.
So I make you a Duke, ere I let you take wing,
And, O Prince, I will send you my Portrait!

O Pilot undaunted, brave heart and strong hand
When our planks were all riven asunder,
You alone grasped the helm, and took boldly your stand,
Nor blanched at the blast and the thunder.
And now, safe in port, we award you a prize
Of a value that men of your sort rate.
So, Prince, I will have myself painted life-size
Every inch, and I'll send you the Portrait.

Fresh storms may be brewing. I'll face them myself.
I am young, and, O Prince, you grow older.
Stay ashore, if you wish it, retire to the shelf,
And let those steer the ship who are bolder.
Yet it shall not be said that, in parting from you,
Your King gave his thanks at a short rate;
So be henceforth a Duke, and accept as your due
What I gratefully grant you--my Portrait!

* * * * *

A RATEPAYER'S REPLY.

_To Mr. Stanhope's Latest Serio-comic, Patriotic Song._

[Illustration]

YOUR story's good, STANHOPE, as far as it runs,
For JOHN BULL, at last, looks like getting his guns.
But though you talk big on the strength of the four
With which you've just managed to arm Singapore,
We would like you to s