[Illustration]

I thinks upon the hole as I prefers a Boat Race to an Horse Race. In the
fust place the grand excitement lasts much longer, in the nex place of
course their ain't no crewel whipping and spurring of the two gallant
Crews to make 'em go faster than possible, in the nex place their ain't
not no dust, and what a blessed loss that is I spose most on us knows by
his own blinded xperience, in the nex place there ain't but werry little
showting and borling and skreaming, and far beyond all, one is abel
direckly after the race is over, insted of rushing off to a scrowged
tent and paying 3_s._ 6_d._ for a bit of cold beef, werry Carelessly
served, to set down carmly and comfortably in one's littel cabbin, and
partake in peas and quiet of all the good things as kind friends has
purvided, while gliding smoothly along our own butifool River a returnin
to that peacefool home to witch one's thorts allers naterally turns wen
the plesure or the bizziness of the day is all over, and our strengths
is replenisht with plenty of good wittles and drink.

ROBERT.

* * * * *

"GO TO BATH!"--Yes, to make sketches and flattering comments, but not to
ridicule the dulness and dinginess of the place, or the local papers
will "slate" you. They don't like "the New Bath Guy'd!"

* * * * *

"LENTEN ENTERTAINMENT."--Going to see SUCCI the fasting man. By the way,
very wrong of SUCCI not to avail himself of the Papal dispensation.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE HOUSE OF COMMONS FROM TOBY'S PRIVATE BOX.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: "NONE BUT THE BRAVE DESERVE THE FARE."

_The Rector's Wife (at School-Feast, to one of the Boys, who had been
doing very "good business")._ "WHAT'S THE MATTER, NOGGINS? DON'T YOU
FEEL WELL?"

_Noggins._ "NO, M'M,--BUT--I'LL HEV--TO BE WUSS, M'M--AFORE I GIVE IN!"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: DROPPING THE PILOT.]

* * *

DROPPING THE PILOT.

GREAT Pilot, whom so many storms have tried,
To see thee quit the helm at last, at last,
And slow descend that vessel's stately side,
Whilst yet waves surge and skies are overcast,
Wakes wondering memories of that mighty past,
Shaped by a guiding hand,
Strong to direct as strenuous to command.
When yet did a great ship on the great sea
Drop Pilot like to thee?