ame
of OGLE.

* * * * *

ROBERT ON THE BOAT-RACE.

AT the moment as I rites on the most importentest ewent of the hopening
Spring, the warst majority of the four millions on us is a passing their
days and nites in wundering which blew side will win. Why they is both
blew, puzzles me. If so be as they was both saleing boats, in course I
coud unnerstand it, but, as they ain't, I gives up the puzzle, and gos
a-head.

By the by, BROWN has given me a strate tip, which I ginerously gives to
all my numerus readers. If it's a nice _light_ day, Cambrige will
suttenly win; but if it's a dull, _dark_ day, Hoxford will suttenly not
lose. So if any of my frends drops their money, it suttenly won't be my
fault.

I remember as one year we had 'em all to dinner at the Manshun House
after the Race, and werry remarkabel fine appytites they all seemed to
have, winners and loosers alike. I spose as Hoxford lost that time, and
most likely from the same cause. For I remembers as the Company werry
kindly drunk the elth of the man who pulled the ropes on that occasion,
and he was just sech another little feller as the won as lost last year,
and wen he returned thanks he sed werry wisely, I thort, as he shood
never pull the ropes again in a great match, for if your boat won nobody
didn't give you no praise for it, but if it lost, everybody said as it
was your fault.

I seed a good many of my respected Paytrons on that ocasion a injoying
of theirselves in their serveral ways. The _Maria Wood_ state Barge was
there in all her glory, and plenty of gay company aboard, including
several members of the honoured Copperashun. In fack you ginerally sees
a fair number on 'em when there's anythink a going forred, whether of a
usefool or a hornymental caracter. One or two other wessels carried
their onered flag. But I looked in wane for any, the werry slightest,
simptom of the County Counsel of London having put in a appearance. Poor
Fellers, what with plenty of dull, dry hard work, and not a partikle of
rashnal injoyment, no not ewen such a trifle as a bit of free wittles or
a drop of free drink, what will they be looking like at the end of their
second year of hoffis? Why it's my beleef as their werry best frends
won' kno 'em. No wunder as they all wants to get free admissions to all
the Theaters and Music Alls. Rayther shabby idear for a full blown
County Counsellor, when a shilling will take him amost anywheres.