nd pretended to argue upon the point of a woman's liberty
as before, but he took me short, and with more warmth than he had yet
used with me, though with the utmost respect, replied, "Dear madam, you
argue for liberty, at the same time that you restrain yourself from that
liberty which God and nature has directed you to take, and, to supply
the deficiency, propose a vicious liberty, which is neither honourable
or religious. Will you propose liberty at the expense of modesty?"

I returned, that he mistook me; I did not propose it; I only said that
those that could not be content without concerning the sexes in that
affair might do so indeed; might entertain a man as men do a mistress,
if they thought fit, but he did not hear me say I would do so; and
though, by what had passed, he might well censure me in that part, yet
he should find, for the future, that I should freely converse with him
without any inclination that way.

He told me he could not promise that for himself, and thought he ought
not to trust himself with the opportunity, for that, as he had failed
already, he was loth to lead himself into the temptation of offending
again, and that this was the true reason of his resolving to go back to
Paris; not that he could willingly leave me, and would be very far from
wanting my invitation; but if he could not stay upon terms that became
him, either as an honest man or a Christian, what could he do? And he
hoped, he said, I could not blame him that he was unwilling anything
that was to call him father should upbraid him with leaving him in the
world to be called bastard; adding that he was astonished to think how I
could satisfy myself to be so cruel to an innocent infant not yet born;
professed he could neither bear the thoughts of it, much less bear to
see it, and hoped I would not take it ill that he could not stay to see
me delivered, for that very reason.

I saw he spoke this with a disturbed mind, and that it was with some
difficulty that he restrained his passion, so I declined any farther
discourse upon it; only said I hoped he would consider of it. "Oh,
madam!" says he, "do not bid me consider; 'tis for you to consider;" and
with that he went out of the room, in a strange kind of confusion, as
was easy to be seen in his countenance.

If I had not been one of the foolishest as well as wickedest creatures
upon earth, I could never have acted thus. I had one of the honestest,
completest gentlemen upon earth