NTIL--"]

* * * * *

"A champagne support was provided in the lower hall."--_Local Paper._

Very sustaining, we feel sure.

* * * * *

"The paper supports the proposed formation of a first army of 'shock
troops,' which would be capable of preventing the mobilisation of a
great Germy army."--_Evening Paper._

Anything to keep the influenza at bay.

* * * * *

"The times for the incubation of the eggs of various birds are as
under:--

Ostrich 41 days.
Gnu 49 days."--_Poultry-Keeping._

"Gnus, indeed!" said the Emu.

* * * * *

TO AMERICA

(_deferentially hinting how others see her and what they think of her
threatened repudiation of her PRESIDENT'S pledges_).

When you refuse to sign the Peace
Except with various "reservations,"
And prophesy a swift decease
Impinging on the League of Nations;
When you whose arms (we've understood)
Settled the War and wiped the Bosch out
Regard the whole world's brotherhood
As just a wash-out;

You say, in terms a little blunt,
"This scheme that you are advertising
Was all along a private stunt
Of WILSON'S singular devising;
His game we weren't allowed to know;
Under a misty smile he masked it;
We never gave him leave to go
(He never asked it).

"And you, poor credulous Allies,
Found in this fellow, self-appointed,
The worth he had in his own eyes
And let him pose as God's anointed;
Taking no sort of pains to see
Whether or not he had a mandate,
Like puppy-dogs the other Three
Out of his hand ate."

But how if _we_ had queered his claim
Or questioned his credentials, saying,
"Who is this WOODROW What's-his-name?
And what's the _role_ he thinks he's playing?
Is he a Methodist divine?
Or does he boom Chicago bacon?"--
I think that I can guess the line
You would have taken.

"Behold a Man," I hear you say,
"Of peerless wit and ripe instruction,
Elect of Heaven and U.S.A.--
Surely an ample introduction;
He comes to put Creation right;
He brings no chits--he doesn't need 'em;
Who doubts his faith will have to fight
The Bird of Freedom!"

O.S.

* * * * *

"SMALL ADS."

"Where do you get servants from?" I asked.

"From