*

During the recent gales on the West Coast of Ireland the anemometer
registered the unprecedented velocity of one hundred-and-ten miles per
hour. A number of cases of anemonia are reported from the Phoenix Park
district.

* * *

According to _Men's Wear_, silk hats are to be increased in price by at
least thirty per cent. Is it by this process, we wonder, that they hope to
drive Mr. CHURCHILL out of business?

* * *

A pig and sty constituted first prize at a recent whist drive at Bishop's
Waltham. We understand that a difference of opinion between the winner and
the pig as regards the user of the sty has ended fatally for the latter.

* * *

It is reported that the Victory badge now being worn extensively in New
York is to be replaced by another bearing the inscription, "We did them."

* * *

"I intend to tour England," says a Prohibition lecturer, "and I will not be
hurried." We recommend the railway.

* * *

A Tralee man charged with shooting a neighbour said he had no desire to
break the law. It seems that he mistook the man for a policeman.

* * *

A French physician declares that a gift for yawning is one of the most
valuable health-assets. This should be good news for revue-producers.

* * *

"Honesty," says Dr. INGRAM, "is the best policy after all." All the same
some of our profiteers seem to get along pretty well, thank you.

* * *

The egg-laying competition promoted by _The Daily Mail_ has proved a great
success. It is most gratifying to learn that the hens have done their best
for "the paper that got us the shells."

* * *

"The influenza microbe," announces a medical journal, "has made its
appearance in many parts of the country and is slowly but surely making its
way towards London." With any other Government than ours a simple
suggestion that the sign-posts _en route_ should be reversed would have
been at once adopted.

* * *

During the last four weeks exactly four hundred and ninety-nine rats have
been destroyed in a small town in South Bedfordshire. It is hoped that as
soon as these figures are published a sporting rodent will give itself up
in order to complete the fifth century.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "WHY HAVEN'T YOU GOT ON SPURS?"

"I WAS GOING TO SPEAK ABOUT THAT, SIR. I REGRET I ACCIDENTALLY OMITTED TO
PUT THEM ON THIS MORNING, AND CONSEQUENTLY HAVE CAUGHT COLD. SO I WAS GOING
TO ASK YOU TO BE KIND ENOUGH TO GRANT ME LEAVE U