YING.

"INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE TO BE CALLED."

_Northampton Dally Echo._

We should have thought it might quite safely be left to private
enterprise.

* * * * *

"The American troops on this side are already either in the States
or on their way."--_Letter in "Daily Express."_

The Germans will take this as convincing evidence of American duplicity.

* * * * *

THE HISTORY OF A JOKE.

[Illustration: BEFORE THE DAWN OF HISTORY IT WAS A UNIVERSAL FAVORITE.]

[Illustration: THE EGYPTIANS LOVED IT.]

[Illustration: THE ASSYRIANS NEVER GREW TIRED OF IT.]

[Illustration: THE GREEKS GRINNED AT IT.]

[Illustration: THE ROMANS REVELLED IN IT.]

[Illustration: HENGIST OFTEN TOLD IT TO HORSA.]

[Illustration: IT WAS RELISHED BY THE SAXONS.]

[Illustration: THE NORMANS KNEW IT WELL.]

[Illustration: IT NEVER LOST ITS FRESHNESS THROUGH THE MIDDLE AGES.]

[Illustration: HENRY VIII. MADE HIS REPUTATION BY IT.]

[Illustration: CHARLES II. REGALED HIS COURT WITH IT.]

[Illustration: IN THE GEORGIAN ERA IT REMAINED UNDIMMED.]

[Illustration: IT WAS POPULAR IN THE SIXTIES.]

[Illustration: AND ONLY LAST WEEK IT WAS THE HIT OF ALL THE NEWEST
REVUES.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE NEW DEMOCRACY.

_Telegraph Girl (at last finding addressee after marching down the
room, shouting, "Bullock! Bullock! Anybody here name o'
Bullock?"--contemplatively, as she awaits answer)._ "UMPH! NOT MUCH LIKE
A BULLOCK, ARE YER?"]

* * * * *

IN MEMORY OF DORA.

(_A JOYOUS ANTICIPATION_.)

Walk very softly here and very slowly;
Let no sound pass the barrier of your teeth;
Not that the spot whereon you tread is holy,
But lest you rouse her up that lies beneath.

She ruthlessly curtailed our golf and skittles;
She vetoed daily sprees and nightly jinks;
She doled our baccy and weighed out our victuals,
And watered (cruellest of all) our drinks.

Anathema (by order) were our races;
Joy-riding was taboo in car or train;
And when they ventured to kick o'er the traces
She strafed her victims till they roared again.

Now where she sleeps the sleep that knows no waking
A simply graven sentence marks the place
(The Latin's shaky but bears no mistaking):--
"_Hic jacet DORA and hic let her jace_."

* * * * *

AN UNHAP