scription of our infantry's arrival in Cologne:--

"Then came more Fusiliers, the Lancashire Fusiliers and the Royal
Dublin Fusiliers, and after them battalions from all parts of the
British Isles.... It was wonderfully thrilling to go from one bridge
to the other, from skirl of pipes to the triumphant swing of 'John
Peel,' and then to the 'Maple Leaf For Ever.'"

_Times._

And what did the Dublins play? "Erin on the Rhine"?

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE 1919 MODEL.

MR. PUNCH. "THEY'VE GIVEN YOU A FINE NEW MACHINE, MR. PREMIER, AND
YOU'VE GOT PLENTY OF SPIRIT; BUT LOOK OUT FOR BUMPS."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Enthusiastic Civilian_.--"WELL, HOW ARE YOU ENJOYING
YOURSELF, MATE?" _Mons Veteran_.--"MIDDLIN'." _Enthusiastic
Civilian_.--"OH, YOU'VE GOT TO GET USED TO IT. OF COURSE AT FIRST IT
SEEMS A BIT BRUTAL."]

* * * * *

THE WATCH DOGS.

LXXIX.

My dear Charles,--Old Bowdler has been brooding again on that
idea of a brief for the defence in the forthcoming trial of the
ex-Kaiser. He rather fancies himself cross-examining with courtesy
but firmness some Generalissimo or other, or reducing to tears by an
eloquent speech a court packed with everybody who is anybody, and
in both cases having the eyes of Europe upon him and the ears of
America hanging on his next word. After all, barristers will be
barristers and, when they are, your ordinary man is no match for
'em. It took another man of his own kind to knock the conceit out of
the idea.

Lack of precedent was no difficulty to Bowdler's learned opponent. A
ready imagination made up. To hear him talk you would think he had
spent his life assisting at the trials of ex-Kaisers. He described
the whole affair as if it had already taken place. Thus:--

The culprit, he assumed, is on bail, though not, of course, on his
own recognizances. First, attention is called to the case by Counsel
for the Prosecution rising early in the sitting and asking his
Lordship if he might mention the case of WILLIAM HOHENZOLLERN, next
on his Lordship's list.

"William who?" asks the Clerk of Assize.

"WILLIAM HOHENZOLLERN," answers counsel: "H-O-H-E-N-Z-O-double
L-E-R-N."

A titter is heard at the idea of a man going about with a name like
that. His Lordship, re