e Passport Bureau at Washington, the War Zone
Bureau at the Custom-House, the head clerk at the Cunard office, the
watchman at the pier, the official who changed my American money into
your own very confusing monetary system, the man at the head of the
gang-plank, the man at the foot of the gang-plank, the steward who
filled my alien's declaration, the steward who gave me my landing-card,
several battalions of control officers, and approximately half the
Allied diplomatic services. When I spoke to Edith I had all the
documents in my breast-pocket, and my heart glowed with justifiable
confidence beneath them. The dear girl never asked for my college
certificate and my luggage check, but I have them all here."

"Perhaps it isn't necessary," she said. "You may have her, my dear boy."

"Without even looking at my Czecho-Slovak _vise_ my club dues for 1918,
and my inoculation receipt for typhoid and paratyphoid A and B?" I
stammered.

"You have a nice face," she said.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "WOT'S OUR NOO M.P.'S BIZNESS?"

"'E'S IN THE JOBMASTERING LINE I THINK. I 'EARD 'E ARST TO BE SENT BACK
TO 'ELP CLEAN OUT THE ORGEAN STABLES."]

* * * * *

OUR GREAT UNKNOWN.

_First Official_. I say, who is the Head of the Thingumyjig
Ministry--the one at the Hotel Giorgione?

_Second Official_. Haven't an idea. I thought it had been wound up.

_First Official_. Well, I'm not so sure of that. There was an
announcement about it in the papers, and then an official _dementi_, and
then the Minister resigned, and now I hear he has been reappointed.

_Second Official_. Then you evidently knew his name all along. Why on
earth did you ask me?

_First Official_. You see, it's like this. I had a bet on with a man at
the Club that out of ten Government officials not more than one would
know the Minister's name. You didn't, and you happen to be the ninth who
didn't, so I've won my bet. By the way, do you know what has become of
the _chef_ at the Giorgione?

_Second Official_. You mean old Savary, who was always gassing about his
descent from NAPOLEON'S General? I think he went back to Paris some time
ago.

_First Official_. Thanks; then I win my second bet--that out of ten
Government officials five would know _his_ name.

* * * * *

UNNATURAL HISTORY.

From a _feuilleton:_--

"She watched him catch the sticklebacks which wer