ard and assumes the most important attitude possible.

"Are you WILLIAM HOHENZOLLERN?" asks the Clerk of Assize.

There is a pause. "I am," says he.

Everyone turns to have a look at him. Feeling that he is thoroughly
impressing everyone WILLIAM fixes a commanding eye on the judge,
compelling, as he supposes, his utmost attention.

"Let's adjourn for lunch," says the judge....

When at last the case gets to its hearing (so far as anything at
all can be heard over the small talk in front of the dock and the
shuffle of impatient feet behind it) a novel point arises. A witness
refers to the War. "What war?" asks his Lordship. Counsel thinks
he can explain, but WILLIAM isn't for letting him. "Will you keep
silence?" says the Judge to WILLIAM. "You must call evidence to
prove that there was a war," he says to counsel.

WILLIAM faints upon realising that Armageddon, his masterpiece, was
such that judicial knowledge wasn't aware of it....

Witness after witness is called; barrister after barrister, in the
bar beneath the dock rail, goes to sleep. WILLIAM, after shaking off
the stupor caused by the awful disregard of his personality, begins
to murmur incoherently. The warder taps him on the shoulder.
WILLIAM, who has never even conceived of being tapped by anybody,
bursts out with an exclamation. The worst thing which has ever
happened to him in his life then happens. Bowdler, Bowdler of all
the un-imperial and un-godlike people in this world, turns to
WILLIAM to rebuke him in a stern whisper, telling him that he is
doing himself no good and concluding his remarks with "My man"....

The trial proceeds, WILLIAM being speechless with rage. In his ears
is ringing a Hymn of Hate--hate of everybody in the court, but
particularly of Bowdler. Every time he can get his brain to work and
his tongue to work with it, he leans forward to breathe some drastic
utterance at his defending counsel. Bowdler remains detached.
WILLIAM (late Kaiser) has to realise as a cold fact that here is
a wretched mortal daring to sharpen a pencil while he is being
addressed by the ALL-HIGHEST. The ALL-HIGHEST reaches over the dock
rail to thump the wretched mortal's wretched head....

Bowdler rises deliberately. There is a hush. He is going to say
something important. WILLIAM feels that at last the world is sa