ne
and duly attentive to him again. Bowdler submits that the state of
mind of the accused person (accused person!) should be inquired
into.

The judge very readily acquiesces; anything to get rid of the
fellow. The prison doctor swears that he has never seen a lunatic if
this isn't one. An assertive juryman, who disapproves of business
being so rushed as not to permit of a hanging, expresses the view
aloud that it is all put on. Silence ensues upon the anomaly of a
juryman daring to express a view aloud; WILLIAM avails himself of
this silence for the same purpose. His view, which was evidently
intended to take some time in the expressing, starts off with
personal reminiscences of the intimate friendship and business
partnership between himself and the Almighty. The juryman at once
gives in and the verdict is found before WILLIAM has completed his
second sentence....

WILLIAM hears himself being ordered "to be detained during His
Majesty's pleasure." The warder, propelling him down below stairs to
the cells, makes it quite clear to WILLIAM that the Majesty referred
to is not his (WILLIAM'S)....

Bowdler follows later to tell WILLIAM what a lucky fellow he is, and
also to take off him one pound, three shillings and sixpence....

Yours ever, HENRY.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Conducting Officer._ "IT'S NOT A BAD LITTLE BATTLEFIELD;
BUT I'M AFRAID IT'S AWFULLY UNTIDY."]

* * * * *

A "POCKET" BOROUGH.

"Beyrout, the ancient Berytus, is 55 miles WNW from Damascus.
The port is strongly fortified, its walls being three inches in
circumference."--_East African Paper._

* * * * *

THE EUPHEMISTIC MOSLEM.

"DEATH OF TURKISH MINISTER.

"A Constantinople message reports that the Turkish Minister of the
Interior has resigned."

_Australian Paper._

* * * * *

GUARANTEED.

"You recognize, of course, that the situation is exceptional," said
Edith's mother. "You left New York on December 2, and arrived at Euston
on December 13. To-day, December 18, you ask me for my daughter's hand,
after a three days' acquaintance. Is this the usual American pace?"

"That is hardly my fault," I said. "We ran into a nasty bit of weather
off Cape Race and lost twelve hours."

"Still," she said,