ple, rich people, ay, and fine people,
that dive every day. I have seen many a pretty gentleman with a
laced waistcoat dine in that manner very comfortably for three pence
halfpenny, and go afterwards to the coffee-house, where he made a figure
with the best lord in the land; but your own eyes shall bear witness--I
will go along with you to-day and introduce you."

He accordingly conducted us to a certain lane, where stopping, he bade
us observe him, and do as he did, and, walking a few paces, dived into
a cellar and disappeared in an instant. I followed his example, and
descending very successfully, found myself in the middle of a cook's
shop, almost suffocated with the steams of boiled beef, and surrounded
by a company of hackney coachmen, chairmen, draymen, and a few footmen
out of place or on board-wages; who sat eating shin of beef, tripe,
cow-heel, or sausages, at separate boards, covered with cloths which
turned my stomach. While I stood in amaze, undetermined whether to sit
down or walk upwards again, Strap, in his descent, missing one of the
stops, tumbled headlong into this infernal ordinary, and overturned the
cook as she carried a porringer of soup to one of the guests. In her
fall, she dashed the whole mess against the legs of a drummer belonging
to the foot-guards, who happened to be in her way, and scalded him so
miserably, that he started up, and danced up and down, uttering a volley
of execrations that made my hair stand on end.

While he entertained the company in this manner, with an eloquence
peculiar to himself, the cook got up, and after a hearty curse on the
poor author of this mischance, who lay under the table with a woful
countenance, emptied a salt-cellar in her hand, and, stripping down the
patient's stocking, which brought the skin along with it, applied
the contents to the sore. This poultice was scarce laid on, when the
drummer, who had begun to abate of his exclamations, broke forth into
such a hideous yell as made the whole company tremble, then, seizing a
pewter pint pot that stood by him, squeezed the sides of it together,
as if it had been made of pliant leather, grinding his teeth at the
same time with a most horrible grin. Guessing the cause of this violent
transport, I bade the woman wash off the salt, and bathe the part with
oil, which she did, and procured him immediate ease. But here another
difficulty occurred, which was no other than the landlady's insisting
on his paying f