owing to a peremptory message I received from a certain lady, whom,
harkee! (but this is a great secret) I am to marry very soon. You think
this strange, perhaps, but it is not less true for all that--a five
thousand pounder, I'll assure you, besides expectations. For my own
part, devil take me if I know what any woman can see engaging about
me--but a whim, you know--and then one would not balk one's good
fortune. You saw that footman who dined with us--he's one of the
honestest fellows that ever wore livery. You must know it was by his
means I was introduced to her, for he made me first acquainted with her
woman, who is his mistress--ay, many a crown has he and his sweetheart
had of my money--but what of that? things are now brought to a bearing.
I have--(come a little this way) I have proposed marriage, and the day
is fixed--she's a charming creature, and writes like an angel! She
can repeat all the English tragedies as well as ever a player in Drury
Lane!-and, indeed, is so fond of plays, that to be near the stage
she has taken lodgings in a court hard by the theatre; but you shall
see--you shall see--here's the last letter she sent me." With
these words, he put it into my hand, and I read (to the best of my
remembrance) as follows:

'Dear Creeten--As you are the animable hopjack of my
contemplayshins, your aydear is infernally skimming before
my keymerycal fansee, when Murfy sends his puppies to the heys
of slipping mortals; and when Febus shines from his merry dying
throne; whereupon I shall canseif old time has lost his
pinners, as also cubit his harrows, until thou enjoy sweet
propose in the loafseek harms of thy very faithfool to commend,
Clayrender
Wingar Yard, Drury Lane, January 12th.'

While I was reading, he seemed to be in an ecstasy, rubbing his hands,
and bursting out into fits of laughter; at last he caught hold of my
hand, and squeezing it, cried, "There--a style for you! What do you
think of this billet-doux?" I answered, "It might be ablime for aught I
knew, for it was altogether above my comprehension." "Oh, ho!" said he,
"I believe it is--both tender and sublime; she's a divine creature! and
so doats upon me! Let me see--what shall I do with this money, when I
have once got it into my hands? In the first place, I shall do for you.
I'm a man of few words---but say no more that's determined; whether
would you advise me, to purchase some po