muttering, "Oh, dear! Oh, dear! fat a saight is here!" I soon guessed
the reason of his ejaculation, and said, "I suppose, sir, you are not
pleased with my dress." "Dress," answered he, "you may caal it fat you
please in your country, but I vow to Gad 'tis a masquerade here. No
Christian will admit such a figure into his house. Upon my conscience,
I wonder the dogs did not hunt you. Did you pass through St. James's
market? Bless my eyesaight! you are like a cousin-german of an
ourangoutang." I began to be a little serious at this discourse, and
asked him, if he thought I should obtain entrance to-morrow at the house
of Mr. Cringer, on whom I chiefly depended for an introduction into
business? "Mr. Cringer, Mr. Cringer," replied he, scratching his cheek,
"may be a very honest gentleman--I know nothing to the contrary; but is
your sole dependence upon him? Who recommended you to him?" I pulled out
Mr. Crab's letter, and told him the foundation of my hopes, at which he
stared at me, and repeated "Oh dear! Oh dear!" I began to conceive bad
omens from this behaviour of his, and begged he would assist me with
his advice, which he promised to give very frankly; and as a specimen,
directed us to a periwig warehouse in the neighbourhood, in order to be
accommodated; laying strong injunctions on me not to appear before Mr.
Cringer till I had parted with my carroty locks, which, he said, were
sufficient to beget an antipathy against me in all mankind. And as we
were going to pursue this advice, he called me back and bade me be sure
to deliver my letter into Mr. Cringer's own hand.

As we walked along, Strap triumphed greatly in our reception with his
friend, who, it seems, had assured him he would in a day or two provide
for him with some good master; "I and now," says he, "I you will see how
I will fit you with a wig. There's ne'er a barber in London (and that's
a bold word) can palm a rotten caul, or a pennyweight of dead hair, upon
me." And, indeed, this zealous adherent did wrangle so long with the
merchant, that he was desired twenty times to leave the shop, and see if
he could get one cheaper elsewhere. At length I made choice (if a
good handsome bob), for which I paid ten shillings, and returned to our
lodging, where Strap in a moment rid me of that hair which had given the
schoolmaster so much offence.

We got up next day betimes, having been informed that Mr. Cringer gave
audience by candle-light to all his dependents, he