le what he owes, so as not to have to let
everybody know that his business is not as flourishing as people think.
But the most amusing side of the whole thing is yet to be told.

If you sell meat in one shop and groceries in another, and you make
L5,000 in the first shop and lose L3,000 in the second, you must not
suppose that you will be charged on L2,000, the difference between your
profit in the first business and the loss in the second. Not a bit of
it. The two businesses being distinct, you will have to pay on the
L5,000 profit made in the first, and bear your loss in the other as best
you can.

As an illustration, I will give you a somewhat piquant reminiscence.
Many years ago I undertook to give lectures in England under my own
management. My manager proved to be an incompetent idiot, and I lost
money.

When I declared my yearly income, I said to the income-tax collector:
'My books brought me an income of so much, but I lost so much on my
lecture tour; my income is the difference--that is, so much.'

'No,' he said; 'your books and your lectures are two perfectly different
things, and I must charge you on the whole income you derived from the
sale of your books.'

Then I was struck with a luminous idea, which proved to me that I was
better fitted to deal with the English tax-collector than to manage a
lecture tour.

'The two things are not at all distinct,' I replied; 'they are one and
the same thing. I gave lectures for the sole purpose of keeping my name
before the public and pushing the sale of my books.'

'Ah!' he exclaimed, 'you are right. In that case you are entitled to
deduct your loss from the profit.'

And this is how I got out of the difficulty--a little incident which has
made me proud of my business abilities ever since.

I was in America last season to give lectures. Instead of lecturing, I
had to be in bed and in convalescence for a month, then undergo an
operation and stay in the hospital for six weeks.

You may imagine the fine income I derived from my last American tour. On
my return to Europe, I passed through London, and stopped there a week
before coming to Paris.

I found awaiting me a bill for about L54, a percentage on 'my profit of
L1,000 realized in America.' Now, this was adding insult to injury. I
have the greatest respect for H.M. Edward VII., but I regret that his
officials should have resorted to such means to defray the expenses of
his Coronation.

CHAPTER XVI