nd trustworthy book of reminiscences, you
must, above all, be an observer and a listener, besides a good
story-teller. You must be modest enough to know how to efface yourself,
remain hidden behind the scenes, and put all your personages on the
stage without hardly appearing yourself.

You must be satisfied with sharing the honours of the book with all your
_dramatis personae_, and not cause the printing of the volume to be
stopped for want of a sufficient supply of 'I's' and 'me's.'

I knew a famous actor whose reminiscences were published some years ago
by a literary man. Once I congratulated that actor on the success of the
book.

'Yes,' he said, 'the book has done me good, because X., you know,
mentions my name once or twice in that book.'

And many books of reminiscences that I know are full of the sayings and
doings of the author, with an occasional mention of people of whom we
should like to hear a great deal.

I have met these men in private, and sometimes found them clever, and
invariably fatiguing bores, and their books are not more entertaining
than their conversation. Many of them reminded me of the first visit
that Diderot paid to Voltaire, on which occasion he talked the great
French wit deaf and dumb.

'What do you think of Diderot?' asked a friend of Voltaire a few days
after that visit.

'Well,' replied Voltaire, 'Diderot is a clever fellow, but he has no
talent for dialogue.'

CHAPTER XXII

THOUGHTS ON HATS

The manly man wears his hat slightly inclined on the right, naturally,
without exaggeration, and without swagger. The braggart wears his right
on his ear. Jolly fellows, destitute of manners, and drunkards, wear
theirs on the back of the head; when far gone, the brim of the hat
touches the neck.

Hypocrites wear theirs over the eyes. Fops wear their hats inclined on
the left. Why? The reason is simple. Of course, they know that the hat,
if inclined, should be on the right; but, unfortunately for them, they
look at themselves in the glass, where the hat inclined on the left
looks as if it were inclined on the right. So they wear it on the left,
and think they have done the correct thing.

The very proper man and the prig invariably wear their hats perfectly
straight. The scientific man and all men of brains put their heads well
inside their hats; the more scientific the mind is, the deeper the head
goes inside the hat.

Fools put on their hats with the help of both hands, a