eing able to wear a single
eye-glass without a string.

CHAPTER XXIV

THOUGHTS ON UMBRELLAS

Tell me how a man uses his umbrella, and I will tell you his character.

The Anglo-Saxon Puritan always carried his umbrella open. If he rolled
it, you might, at a distance, take that umbrella for a stick, which, he
thinks, would give him a certain fast appearance. The miser does the
same, because an umbrella that is never rolled lasts longer.

The man who always takes an umbrella out with him is a cautious
individual, who never runs risks, and abstains from speculation. He will
probably die rich; at all events, in cosy circumstances. On the
contrary, the man who always leaves his umbrella behind him is generally
one who makes no provision for the morrow. That man is thoughtless,
reckless, always late for the train or an appointment, leaves the
street-door open when he comes home late at night, and is generally
unreliable.

The man who is always losing his umbrella is an unlucky dog, whose bills
are protested, whose boots split, whose gloves crack, whose buttons are
always coming off, who is always in trouble on account of one thing or
another.

The man, who leaves a new umbrella in his club and hopes to find it
there the following day, is a simpleton who deserves all the bad luck
that pursues him through life.

The man who comes early to an 'at home' may not show his eagerness to
present his respects to a hostess early so much as to aim at having a
better chance to choose a good umbrella.

The man who is perpetually showing a nervous anxiety about his umbrella,
and wondering if it is safe, is full of meanness and low suspicion. Let
him be ever so rich, if he asks your daughter in marriage, refuse her to
him. He will undoubtedly take more care of his umbrella than of his
wife.

If you are fortunate enough to have your umbrella when it rains, and you
meet a friend who has left his at home, and asks you to shelter him, try
immediately to meet another friend or acquaintance to whom you will
offer the same service. By so doing, you will be all right in the
middle, you will have your sides also well protected, and, besides, you
will have obliged two friends instead of one.

The possession of a well-regulated watch and a decent umbrella is to a
great degree a sign of respectability. More watches and silk umbrellas
are pawned than all the other pieces of man's apparel put together.

The man who carries a cotton