hich passed a generation ago. No, I do not. I speak of a state of things
that is only too common at this present time. I have known marriage after
marriage wrecked by the almost unbelievable ignorance that has been present
on both sides. I say both sides. First of all, there is the girl. To her,
marriage comes sometimes as so great a shock that her whole temperament is
warped and embittered by it. Then there is the man, equally ignorant--very
often, probably less ignorant of himself, but equally ignorant of her--not
realizing how she should be treated. They are often quite ignorant of each
other's views on marriage; of what sort of claims they are going to make
on each other; what each thinks about the duty of having children. These
elementary facts of human life, which must confront those who marry, are
faced by them without any kind of preparation, without the most rudimentary
knowledge of each other's point of view. And that there are so many happy
marriages in spite of all this makes one realize how extraordinarily loyal,
fine and courageous, on the whole, human nature is.

Only the other day I was speaking in a town in the north of England on this
very subject, and I got a letter afterwards to say that the writer had very
greatly enjoyed my address at the time. She had found it, she assured me,
inspiring and elevating. But she felt bound to write and tell me afterwards
(what she was sure would both shock and distress me) that she had found
that some of the people in my audience were actually acting on what I
said! I suppose every public speaker comes up against that sort of thing
sometimes--the calm assurance that you are merely talking in the air and
have not the slightest desire that anyone should act on what you say.
So this lady wrote to say that, though she and her husband had both been
greatly impressed by what I said, they were horrified to find that, as
a result, people were actually discussing with one another, before they
married, certain points which she mentioned to me and which she said they
ought never to discuss until they _were_ married. Is it not amazing
that anyone should seriously contend that it is better to arrive at an
understanding with the person he or she is about to marry _after_ marriage
than before? That people who would not dream of betraying anyone into any
kind of contract about which they were not satisfied that its terms were
understood should be willing to betray others--I deliberatel