the hardest-worked.

_The Com._ It certainly seems unfair that officers of your importance
should not receive ampler remuneration. When was the rate established?

_En. Of., R.N._ It has seen little change since 1870; and you
may judge of its justice when I tell you that a young Surgeon of
twenty-three, appointed to his first ship, receives more pay than
many Engineer officers who have seen fourteen years' service, and
have reached the age of thirty-five.

_The Com._ I am decidedly of opinion that your pay should be
increased, and I suppose (as evidently there has been "class feeling"
in the matter) you have had to suffer annoyance anent relative rank?

_En. Of., R.N._ (_with a smile_). Well, yes, we have. But if the
Engineer-in-Chief at the Admiralty (who, by the way, receives L1000
a-year, and yet is held responsible for the design and manufacture of
machinery costing L12,000,000 per annum) is admitted to be superior
to all other Engineer officers, we shall be satisfied. Still I cannot
help saying that the Chief Engineer of a ship is snubbed when all is
right, and only has his importance and responsibility allowed (when
indeed it is recognised and paraded) when anything is wrong! But let
that pass.

_The Com._ I am afraid it is too late to do anything further this
Session, as the House is just up. However, if matters are not more
satisfactory at the end of the recess, let me know, and--but you
shall see!

[_The Witness, after suitable acknowledgment, then withdrew._

* * * * *

"A LITTLE MORE THAN GAY BUT LESS THAN GRAVE."--Not very long ago, an
act of sacrilege was committed at Canterbury by a man, who robbed an
alms-box in the Cathedral. However, disregarding the precedent set
some time since by the Dean and Chapter (who it will be remembered dug
up and removed the bones of the honoured dead) the intruder abstained
from touching the vaults of those buried in consecrated ground.

* * * * *

[Illustration: DIGNITY IN DISTRESS.

_Small Boys_ (_to Volunteer Major in temporary command_). "I SAY,
GUV'NOR--HI! JUST WIPE THE BLOOD OFF THAT 'ERE SWORD!!"]

* * * * *

MIGHT BE BETTER!

Small game and scant! The Season's show
Of Birds, in bunches big, adjacent,
Will hardly take JOHN's eye, although
The Poulterer appears complacent,
Seeing, good easy man, quite clearly
That rival shops show yet mo