The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol. 99.,
August 23, 1890., by Various

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Title: Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol. 99., August 23, 1890.

Author: Various

Release Date: May 20, 2004 [EBook #12392]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

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PUNCH,

OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

VOL. 99.

August 23, 1890.

NOVELTY UP TO DATE.

[Illustration]

The originality of the plot of _The English Rose_ (the new play at
the Adelphi) having been questioned, the following Scotch Drama is
published with a view of ascertaining if it has been done before.
Those of our readers who think they recognise either the situations
or any part of the dialogue, will kindly remember that treatment is
everything, and the imputation of plagiarism is the feeblest of all
charges. The piece is called _Telmah_, and is written in Three Acts,
sufficiently concise to be given in full:--

ACT I.

_The Horse Guards Parade, Elsinore, near Edinburgh._

_Enter MACCLAUDIUS, MACGERTRUDE, Brilliant Staff, and Scotch
Guards. The Colours are trooped._

_Then enter TELMAH, who returns salute of Sentries._

_MacClaudius_. I am just glad you have joined us, TELMAH.

_Telmah_. Really! I fancied some function was going on, but thought it
was a parade, in honour of my father's funeral.

_MacGertrude_ (_with a forced laugh_). Don't be so absurd! Your poor
father--the very best of men--died months ago.

_Telmah_ (_bitterly_). So long!

_MacClaudius_ (_aside_). Ma gracious! He's in one of his nasty
tempers, MACGERTRUDE. Come away! (_Aloud._) Believe me, I shall drink
your health to-night in Perrier Jouet of '74. Come!

[_Exeunt with Queen and Guards._

_Telmah_. Oh! that this too solid flesh would melt! (_Enter_ Ghost.)
Hallo! Who are you?

_Ghost_ (_impressively_). I am thy father's spirit! List, TELMAH, oh,
list!

_Telmah_. Would, with pleasure, were I not already a Major in the
Army, and an Hon. Colonel in the Militia.

_Ghost_ (_severely_). None of your nonsense! (_M