and japes),
But--now the thing lacks go.

"What though the grumbler Man put forth
His pompous power and skill!
He could not make Woman and WORTH
The vassals of his will;--
Fashion, I mourn thy parted sway,
Thou dim discrowned Queen! To play
To empty box and stall;
To dress--when not another She
Exists to quicken rivalry--
No, it won't pay at all!

"Go, let oblivion's curtain fall
Upon the works of men!
Nothing they did that's worth recall,
With sword, or spade, or pen.
Their bumptious bunglings bring not back!
Man always _was_ a noisy quack
Who thought himself a god;
But when he fancied he had scored
Prodigiously, the Sex he bored
Subdued him with a nod.

"Now I am weary. No one tries
The fit of new attire!
Doom, that the joys of Dress denies,
Bids Woman's bliss expire.
But shall _La Mode_ know final death?
Forbid it Woman's latest breath!
Death--who is _male_--shan't boast
The eclipse of Fashion. Such a pall
Shall not like Darkness cover all--
Till _I_ give up the ghost!

"What would most vex and worry _him_,
Dull, modeless Man, whose spark
Long (beside Woman's) burning dim,
Has now gone down in dark?
Ha! He'd kick up the _greatest_ shine
(If he _could_ kick) at--CRINOLINE.
Were he recalled to breath,
I'll have one last man-mocking spree
By _donning hooped skirts_. Victory!
_This_ takes all sting from Death!

"Go, Sun, while Fashion holds me up,
Swollen skirt and skimpy waist
Shall fill--male--sorrow's bitter cup,
And mortify--male--taste!
Go, tell the spheres that sweep through space,
Thou saw'st the last of EVE'S fair race,
In high ecstatic passion;
The darkening universe defy,
To quench her taste for Toggery,
Or shake her faith in Fashion!"

* * * * *

[Illustration: "THE GOVERNESS WHO, MA' SAID, WOULDN'T DO."]

* * * * *

A PLAINT FROM PARNASSUS.

(_By an "Unrecommended" Resident._)

[Mr. GLADSTONE (replying to Mr. JOHNSTON, of Ballykilbeg) announced
that no recommendation had been submitted to Her MAJESTY upon the
subject of the succession to the office of Poet Laureate, and that
there was no immediate intention of submitting one.]

Glorious Apollo! This is wondrous hard!
Fancy JOHN BULL without Official Bard!
His plight is sad as that of the great