E NEXT "QUEENSLAND MEAT" BANQUET.--"The Army, the Gravy, and
the Preserved Forces!"

* * * * *

THE MAN FROM BLANKLEY'S.

A STORY IN SCENES.

SCENE V.--_The Dining-room; walls distempered chocolate; gaselier with
opal-tinted globes; two cast-iron Cavaliers holding gas-lamps on the
mantel-piece. Oil-portrait, enlarged from photograph, of_ Mrs.
TIDMARSH, _over side-board; on other walls, engravings--"Belshazzar's
Feast," "The Wall of Wailing at Jerusalem," and_ DORE'S _"Christian
Martyrs." The guests have just sat down_; Lord STRATHSPORRAN _is
placed between_ Miss SEATON _and his hostess, and opposite_ Mr.
GILWATTLE.

_Lord Strath._ (_to himself_). Deuced quaint-looking people--wish they
wouldn't all eat their soup at me! Why can't somebody say something? Wonder
who's the Lady in black, all over big silver tears--like a foreign funeral.
Don't feel equal to talking to MARJORY again till I've had some Sherry.
(_After sipping it._) Wormwood, by Jove! Champagne will probably be
syrup--touch old GILWATTLE up if he isn't careful--ah, _he_ jibs at the
Sherry!

_Uncle Gab._ Where the dickens did MONTY get this stuff, MARIA? Most
'strordinary bitter taste!

_Mrs. Tid._ (_to herself, in an agony_). I _knew_ that bottle of GWENNIE'S
Quinine Wine had got down into the cellar _somehow_! (_Aloud._) Don't drink
it, Uncle, please, if it isn't _quite_ what you like!

_Uncle Gab._ I'll take his Lordship's opinion. What do _you_ think of this
Sherry, my Lord? Don't you find it rather--eh?

_Lord Strath._ (_observing his hostess frown at him imperiously_). Oh,
excellent, Sir--very--er--mellow and agreeable!

_Uncle Gab._ Ha--yes--now your Lordship mentions it, there's a sort of
nuttiness about it.

[_He empties his glass._

_Lord Strath._ (_to himself_). There is--a _rotten_-nuttiness! I'm hanged
if he hasn't bolted it! Wonderful old Johnny!

_Mrs. Tid._ (_to him, in an under-tone_). You said _quite_ the right thing!

_Lord Strath._ (_ambiguously_). Oh, not at all!

[_Turbot and lobster-sauce are taken round, and conversation becomes
general._

_Conversational Scraps._ Assure you if I touch the smallest particle of
lobster it instantly flies to my.... Yes, _alive_. A dear friend of mine
positively had to leave her lodgings at the seaside--she was so disturbed
by the screams of the lobsters being boiled in the back-kitchen.... I was
read