I, 'Smooth's an independent citizen, who
must not be interfered with while taking a turn round the
establishment: he neither stands on ceremony nor political
point-making.' The fact was, Mr. Smooth had a very wholesome hatred of
the nonsense of ceremony, and always pitied that complacency of Uncle
John Bull who, like a well-worn and faithful pack-horse, never
flinched under the heavy burden of that precious legacy called royal
blood, which, said blood, was fast absorbing the vital blood of the
nation. May our Union always be spared the degradation of such blood!

"The fellow, seeing I was not to be outdone, gave it up for a bad job,
and contented himself with following me here and there, keeping a
fixed eye on my motions, as if he feared I was going to become
enamoured of some of Mr. Pierce's chambermaids, which said commodity
was acknowledged to be very pretty, and much admired by Jones, who did
the fashionable at Willard's. It having been said that the General,
like Jackson, would keep himself, I endeavored to persuade the fellow
to show me his nook. He only shook his head and said it wouldn't do:
so I took a careless stroll through the loose apartments, and ceased
only when my sight was gratified. 'Well!' says the flunkey, adding a
deep sigh and a despairing shake of the head, 'it's no use trying to
control this citizen; he's of the fast school, without bowels.'

"'You may believe it!' returned I, advancing toward a broad circular
stairway that wound downward far into the regions below, where I
expected to find Fourney and Company holding the General down upon the
grindstone, while Uncles Caleb and Jeff turned, and Marcy stood by to
say when enough of the rough was got off. 'There! in my soul he's
going down into the kitchen!' The fellow bawled out as I passed down,
and soon disappeared, saying it was just the winding way I sought;
and, though the things to be seen in the vortex to which it led might
be dangerously dear to the nation, the proof would at least be
convincing. On I went, the way darkening as I advanced.

CHAPTER VII.

MR. SMOOTH PENETRATES THE DARK CONFINES OF MR. PIERCE'S KITCHEN, WHERE
HE FINDS THINGS SADLY CONFUSED.

"Down, down, down, went, groping my way (significant of the General's
policy) through a long dark passage, whence came a rancorous stench,
strong enough to kill cats and doubtful democrats. 'Keep the right
hand way for the kitchen: General is in there, assisting in the maki