CHAPTER VIII.

MR. SOLOMON SMOOTH TAKES A FISH BREAKFAST.

"Well, Uncle Sam, I reckoned I'd seen enough of the kitchen
arrangements; so I left them scraping the General--that is, getting
off the injured outside, in order to see what really he was made of,
and what he had beneath the undefinable cover. When in Washington,
there's nothing like going ahead; and if you can look a man into
respect for you, so much the better. Dignitary or no dignitary won't
do; you must always profess to be a distinguished individual. Well, on
the strength of the invitation extended by Jeff--to take a fish
breakfast on the following morning, when it was expected the flounder
would be done brown, I again repaired to the White House, and after
pushing my way through all kinds of passages and doorways, found
myself in a gorgeous sort of establishment.

"'Your lookin for somethin, I take it?' said a trim figure, whose face
rather bordered on the brassy.

"'Well! I reckon I am. Can you tell a stray citizen where the General
hangs out in the morning?' I replied, as he confronted me and paused.

"'Sartin!' he rejoined, interrupting me, and at the same time looking
very sociable, as if he wanted to have a talk on politics.
Nevertheless, it was getting close upon the hour of breakfast; so he
takes me by the arm, and stepping through a frickazeed passage up to a
large door which opened into a ponderously furnished room, 'I'll take
your card, sir!' continued he, with a low bow and a motion of the hand
to sit down.

"Didn't have a card at hand, but chalked down Mr. Solomon Smooth, from
Cape Cod, on a piece of thick paper per, that suited all the purposes.

"'Mr. Smooth belongs to the Young American party, if I mistake not?'
he returned, with a polite bow.

"'You better believe that, citizen!' says I, and off he goes, soon
disappearing through a door at the other end of the room. While he was
gone, I thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to take a survey of the
premises. So, lighting my cigar, I began at the top end first. Such
looking-glasses, sofas, carpets--so much fashion and flummery, that
nobody could tell what utility it contained, I never had seen
before. Tell you what it is, Uncle Sam, we have an expensively queer
way of representing our republican simplicity! As I was squinting
about, in comes the General, looking as bright as a newly-coined
cent. Running up to me, with hand extended, and exulting with joy, he
spake: 'Great kingdom