le as that language so generally diffused through
diplomatic notes and protocols. Now hideous squaws ran one way, young
children another. Dogs and cats brought up the rear, their music
combining in most ungrateful medley. John's fears became excited as he
saw the chiefs rushing furiously onward in the van. 'What shall we
do?' said he; 'they will exterminate us.' I said we had better summon
all our amiability and endeavor to engraft ourselves in their good
graces. Young America would talk Yankee to them. To this John gave
ready consent. I was glad to see that for once he had laid aside his
dignity and superciliousness: it was freely acknowledging that Uncle
Sam was somebody--that he could, in his plain straightforward way do
clever things. Therefore, to initiate my diplomacy I drew forth the
Stars and Stripes, and held them before a monster chief of some seven
feet in stature, who had almost reached us, making savage
grimaces. Soon he stood before us, John commenced to bow with all his
politeness, and meekly doffing off his hat, began a speech
with:--'Your sublime majesty--' 'Stop that, John!' I exclaimed firmly,
interrupting him. Here I stepped in, and extended my hand to the
savage. 'My name, stranger,' I continued 'is Commissioner Solomon
Smooth--at home they call me General Smooth. Now, seeing that I am
sent by our patriotic President (a very small man by the way, but
immeasurably large when dealing in the mere language of war) whose
determination that talent of a truly American character shall shine
abroad has been fully appreciated by the nations honored with his
promising plenipotentiaries, Mr. Pierce has deputed me to square the
world in general, and manifest destiny in particular.' The savage at
first exhibited signs of concern, but finally summoned to his aid a
salutation of welcome, and at the same time grasped my hand warmly and
earnestly. Communicating with him by signs was not the most agreeable
office: but when there is a point to be gained energy is always well
spent. I would enlighten him upon matters connected with our
government, while ascertaining his ideas of annexation: this the
language of signs prevented my doing. I regretted this exceedingly,
inasmuch as it compelled me to forego the comparison I contemplated
making between his and those known ideas entertained by General Pierce
himself. Enough, however, was drawn from the signs to prove a
striking coincidence. 'Never bin to Washington--I reckon?'