rown cucumbers, and could be
turned to as many uses. But what there is mentally in a man must not
be judged by the measure of his body from head to foot. And, too,
there was my very amiable Lord Clarendon, who attempted to out-clever
my Lord John, inasmuch as John stated, in the fulness of his
geographical knowledge, that the passage between Havana and the
extreme southern point of Florida was not more than four hundred
miles, while my Lord Clarendon assured the House of Lords that South
Carolina was an island. Enlightened House of Lords! But, after all,
there was a harmony of sentiment between these two noble worthies that
was truly grateful to the submissive hearts of the freedom-loving
English; both could spin flattering speeches: both could play the long
and short; both could wince when foreign bull-dogs sent out their
threatening growls; and both were mighty of mouth when dealing with
little chickens. It was not to be concealed, however that Dablerdeen,
master of the board, was gifted with the unfortunate characteristic of
talking himself into an interminable difficulty.

"'Who, or from whence on earth do you come?' inquired my Lord.

"'Smooth,' I replied, that is my name; I am a citizen of the Great
Republic--come to study the way in which you are disorganizing foreign
affairs.'

"'Yer a little in advance of the times--too fast, sir!' replied a
large man most serious of face. Thinking it best to answer him by
declaring my opinion to be that it was better to be with the age than
behind it,--and which I believe constituted the only difference
between a fast and slow man of the present day, I let slide at him
upon the fallacy of his political philosophy, with knock-down
arguments.

"The fellows cooled down at once, and John Littlejohn said, 'Come,
Smooth! if you really are a clever citizen then you are precisely the
fellow we want!' And then he conversed feelingly with me, said how
much he liked our country and our countrymen; persuaded himself to
believe them the real go-ahead chaps--though he, at times, thought it
quite necessary to keep their go-ahead a little slow. I proposed their
taking a smoke in a rough and ready sort of way, and pulling out my
pouch, in a friendly sort of way, they all seemed struck aback with
astonishment. One said, if we did things that way in Congress it was
not the way they did them here. They all shook their heads--said they
didn't smoke.

"'We will may it please you Mr. Smooth--