thy transatlantic cousin as
the most generous, if not the most credulous, fellow extant! Whether
his model friend George Saunders, can take to himself any merit for
having created this now very general opinion in Europe (by virtue of
his most extraordinary circulars), Smooth is unable to decide; but
certain is it that every disaffected subject on the continent who can
get up spleen enough to fancy himself a much injured republican--'
Here General F---- interrupted, by submitting to the honorable Umpire
whether these remarks were not gratuitous, irrelevant, and
improper. The Umpire, having given his opinion that they were unduly
long (extending a whole hour beyond his dinner-time), begged the
gentleman would turn the key to his concluding remarks. 'I have only
another remark to make,' rejoined the gentleman with the sharp face:
'If Sydney Smith had lived, there would have been more wit and sarcasm
levelled at this mixed Commission than would have filled an octavo
volume. I cannot forbear to say, however, that strange as is the
character of many of these demands, claims, and grievances, some of
them might have been settled without such a deplorable waste of time,
had it not been for the interference of that phantom devil,
Mr. General Pierce's black pig, who is always construing principles to
suit his purposes. So avaricious is that animal, that no amount of
swill seems to pacify his desire to overthrow principles and defeat
great objects. No place would seem too obscure for the brute to get
his nose into; no demands too egregious for his appetite; no rights
too daintily established for his disregard. He is here, there, and
everywhere--demanding with the same ferocious spirit. We had hoped
Mr. General Pierce would keep him at home during the deliberations of
this Convention: let us console our disappointment by trusting to what
the future may bring forth.' Here the Umpire's patience was at an
end--patience no longer remained with him a virtue. He rose moodily
from his seat, said the sitting would adjourn until to-morrow,
and betook himself to his dinner, which he added he feared would get
as cold as the gentlemen's pleas. This was rather abruptly bringing
matters to a close. The legal gentlemen, as if disturbed elsewhere
than in their thoughts, looked terror-stricken, packed up their law
tools, shouldered their green bags, and, in the company of Mr. Smooth,
sought a place whereat to bestow good care on the inner temple.
Sm