ooth, with all deference to the opinions of the very respectable
gentlemen of the mixed Commission, begs to inform his readers, and Mr.
Pierce in particular, that they never will catch him looking in upon
them again.

CHAPTER XVIII.

SMOOTH RECEIVES THE DOCUMENTS, AND CALLS A CONGRESS AT OSTEND.

"Several months having passed, during which no further instructions
from the General came to hand, I began to think he had forgotten my
mission, and taken himself to dieting on gunpowder and War-Messages
for the next Congress. Then I received a private note from his boy
Caleb, in which he stated very confidentially that everything was
waiting the next turn in the Brigadier's mind. Caleb's letter
discovered much impatience with his position, and a good many sly
remarks which were intended as a hit at Marcy and his budget. I should
tell the reader that an additional cause of my anxiety was the not
receiving a reply to a private and confidential note to Pierce, in
which I remonstrated with him against the propriety of holding a thing
so open to base ridicule as a Congress of American Ministers at
Ostend. That fraternity of infallibility, kings and princes, might
become somewhat uneasy at its presence, many honest-hearted
republicans would be deceived, and its result be only the illustration
of an unprecedented amount of folly on the part of the American
Executive. But the thing was a great pet with Caleb, Jeff, and Pierce,
who knew that Marcy would have to father the abortions, which were
generally laid at his door. With all these very natural difficulties
before me, I decided to charter the next Collins steamer, and proceed
to the White House, there to learn in person what the boys were doing.
I was anxious to know what had become of Pierce and Papa--whether Papa
was yet administering the pap-spoon to the General, by way merely of
counteracting the effect of the charcoal being _piled on_ by the
boys--Jeff and Caleb. Now, lest there should be any one in Washington
unwilling to separate Smooth's better inclinations from the general
character of the Convention to be holden, he would here say that the
very best of his abilities were exerted with the General against the
policy of making his Ministers cut so ridiculous a figure in
Europe. He knew also that Monsieur Souley would take upon himself all
the cooking business, and have it all his own way, as they say in
England.

"One morning, while consoling myself with the pro