he was chosen because of his
birthplace being America. Some had gone so far as to characterize the
choice an evidence that Mr. Bull was inclined to act upon the square,
and permit Cousin Jonathan to have it all his own way,--never for once
keeping in mind that it mattered but little where a man's birthplace
was, if he had long since forgotten the spirit of its institutions.
Indeed, as far as sympathy and manners are concerned, an American may
be more than an Englishman, and _vice versa_. Smooth does not mean to
insinuate that the case is illustrated in the present functionary,
whose face was of that stern cast which at times would lead to believe
it unhappy under the fatigue of a too solid body. To this singularly
stern face was added a nose, facetious gentlemen might be inclined to
call the ripening fruits of good wine, while pervading all was an air
of sordidness curiously at variance with the good parts repute
asserted he possessed. Smooth would have taken him for a man whose
mind was of a mechanical turn; for at times he would become dreamy,
his eyes would close within leaden lids, and his body seem prone to
cool away into sleep's gentlest embrace. Again he would, as if with
much effort, raise those leaden eyelids, draw forth a languid breath,
stretch his arms athwart, and, as if 'twere pain, listen to the legal
logic boring its dryness into his very soul. The tax did indeed seem
beyond his power of endurance.

"Being introduced all round, Smooth commenced the conversation by
saying, in a warm and good-natured sort of way:--'Well, Citizens!--how
do ye make out to get time over the bank? S'pose it's because Uncle
Sam stands at the gangway serving the shot?' They did not seem to
brighten up at this remark. It was evidently viewed as rather out of
place; for the Umpire quickened his nodding, and the other five
functionaries constituting the convention permitted their faces to
yield looks by no means significant of good-nature. Quoth, by the way
of conventionality, were they right glad to see Minister Smooth;
further, they shook him warmly by the hand, and made many inquiries
about Pierce and his policy--a thing he never had, hence the
impossibility of enlightening them. Mr. Pierce had an eye to Cuba, but
no policy whatever with regard to the getting of it: in addition to
this, Pierce himself so far defied analyzation that many grave and
experienced diplomatists had declared the problem beyond their power
to solve.