at through all the variety of
miseries that had to this day befallen me, I never had so much as one
thought of it being the hand of God, or that it was a just punishment
for my sin, my rebellious behaviour against my father, or my present
sins, which were great; or so much as a punishment for the general
course of my wicked life. When I was on the desperate expedition on the
desert shores of Africa, I never had so much as one thought of what
would become of me; or one wish to God to direct me whither I should go,
or to keep me from the danger which apparently surrounded me, as well
from voracious creatures as cruel savages: but I was merely thoughtless
of a God, or a Providence, acted like a mere brute from the principles
of nature, and by the dictates of common sense only, and indeed
hardly that.

When I was delivered, and taken up at sea by the Portugal captain, well
used, and dealt justly and honourably with, as well as charitably, I had
not the least thankfulness on my thoughts. When again I was shipwrecked,
ruined, and in danger of drowning on this island, I was as far from
remorse, or looking on it as a judgment; I only said to myself often,
that I was _an unfortunate dog_, and born to be always miserable.

It is true, when I got on shore first here, and found all my ship's crew
drowned, and myself spared, I was surprised with a kind of ecstasy, and
some transports of soul, which, had the grace of God assisted, might
have come up to true thankfulness; but it ended where it begun, in a
mere common flight of joy, or, as I may say, _being glad I was alive_,
without the least reflection upon the distinguishing goodness of the
Hand which had preserved me, and had singled me out to be preserved,
when all the rest were destroyed; or an inquiry why Providence had been
thus merciful to me; even just the same common sort of joy which seamen
generally have, after they have got safe on shore from a shipwreck,
which they drown all in the next bowl of punch, and forget almost as
soon as it is over; and all the rest of my life was like it.

Even when I was afterwards, on due consideration, made sensible of my
condition, how I was cast on this dreadful place, out of the reach of
human kind, out of all hope of relief, or prospect of redemption, as
soon as I saw but a prospect of living, and that I should not starve
and perish for hunger, all the sense of my affliction wore off, and I
began to be very easy, applied myself to the