y mind, or in my mouth; nor in the greatest distress had
I so much thought as to pray to him; nor so much as to say, Lord, have
mercy upon me! no, not to mention the name of God, unless it was to
swear by, and blaspheme it.

I had terrible reflections upon my mind for many months, as I have
already observed, on the account of my wicked and hardened life past;
and when I looked about me, and considered what particular providences
had attended me, since my coming into this place, and how God had dealt
bountifully with me; had not only punished me less than my iniquity
deserved, but had so plentifully provided for me; this gave me great
hopes that my repentance was accepted, and that God had yet mercies in
store for me.

With these reflections I worked my mind up, not only to resignation to
the will of God in the present disposition of my circumstances, but even
to a sincere thankfulness of my condition; and that I, who was yet a
living man, ought not to complain, seeing I had not the due punishment
of my sins; that I enjoyed so many mercies, which I had no reason to
have expected in that place, that I ought never more to repine at my
condition, but to rejoice, and to give daily thanks, for that daily
bread, which nothing but a cloud of wonders could have brought: that I
ought to consider I had been fed even by a miracle, even as great as
that of feeding Elijah by ravens; nay, by a long series of miracles; and
that I could hardly have named a place in the uninhabited part of the
world, where I could have been cast more to my advantage: a place, where
as I had no society, which was my affliction on one hand, so I found no
ravenous beasts, no furious wolves or tigers, to threaten my life; no
venomous creatures, or poisonous, which I might have fed on to my hurt;
no savages to murder and devour me.

In a word, as my life was a life of sorrow one way, so it was a life of
mercy another; and I wanted nothing to make it a life of comfort, but to
be able to make my sense of God's goodness to me, and care over me in
this condition, be my daily consolation; and after I made a just
improvement of these things, I went away, and was no more sad.

I had now been here so long, that many things which I brought on shore
for my help, were either quite gone, or very much wasted, and
near spent.

My ink, as I observed, had been gone for some time, all but a very
little, which I eked out with water a little and a little, till it was
so p