afflicts my heart. How to get rid of
it I do not know. If I remain quietly where I am, by collecting its
scattered rays it burns more deeply into my soul, bringing forth deep
sighs, groans, and at times demanding all my energy to repress an
unnatural howl.

"How shall I escape this? By remaining here and trying to bear it, or
by travelling? To do the latter has often occurred to me of late. By
such a cause I was driven from home last winter. What the result will
be this time I cannot tell; but if I did know, I would not wait, as I
did then, until it came on me with such power as to be torturing in
the extreme. Ah, what nervous strength and energy I feel at such
times! If I speak of it to my brothers, they cannot understand me,
never having had the same experience. My timidity, which does not
wish to be thought of as desiring anything extra on account of my
life, makes me bear it until it is unendurable. Hence I am silent so
long as it does not speak for itself, which extremity might be
prevented were circumstances other than they are. Since they are not,
let it be borne with, say strength and resignation united with hope.
'Tis this that is fabled in Prometheus and Laocooen--and how well
fabled, too."

It is significant that after every extraordinary disturbance, such
as the above, he experienced the impulse to study the credentials of
claimants in the outer religious world, the envoys of the Deity to
man; and this especially concerning the Catholic Church. He goes on
at once to say:

"Of late I have felt more disposed to look into church matters than
for six months past. Last evening I made a visit to the Rev. Mr.
Haight" (an Episcopal clergyman) "and conversed with him about that
subject for an hour and a half. We differed very little in our
opinions. If the Church of Rome has fallen into corruptions from her
over-warmth, the Anglican has neglected some of her duties through
her coldness. And if the Anglican receives the first five or six
councils as legitimate and rejects the Council of Trent as not a full
one, still, as an individual, I think Rome did not establish or
enjoin anything in those decrees" (the Tridentine) "which was not in
harmony with the Spirit of Christ, the Scriptures, and tradition. But
the Anglican thinks she has, and hence, in his judgment, they are
unwarrantable and unnecessary."

"November 15.--How does Jesus commune with Humanity through the
Church? Does He now commune with the Church? W