greater courage. In almost every entry of any length
in the diary during this period he complains of his lack of solitude
and of the means of obtaining it. His mind, after arriving home, was
tossed with many interior distresses which he could not communicate
to his brothers, nor even to his mother, with any hope of
assuagement, but which silence and solitude enabled him to soothe by
prayer. On the last day of the year he reverts to the great changes
which 1843 had witnessed in his soul, and which, he says, were
accompanied by bitter anguish. Twelve months before he had been with
his "dear friend, 0, A. Brownson, filled with an unknown spirit,
driven from home by it, and like one intoxicated, not knowing who I
was or wherefore I was so troubled"--then to Brook Farm, and to
Fruitlands, and back again in New York for the previous five or six
months, the same spirit still in sovereign mastery over him, and,
"though regulated, none the less powerful." He says that he is not so
restless nor his mind so chaotic, but that he still has a pain at
heart which he declares to be almost unbearable, joined to some
nervous excitability.

Meantime, besides trying to employ himself actively in the business
of the Hecker Brothers, he recited lessons daily in both German and
Latin, and read much, chiefly on topics suggested by the difficulties
with which his life was beset, such as philosophy, religious
controversy, and the graver sorts of poetry, of which that of Goethe
made a deep impression on him. The melancholy unrest and longing
which such poetry embodies sunk into his very heart. Often it gave
perfect expression to his own doubting and distressed state of soul.
He also found some relaxation in an occasional visit to the theatre
and heard nearly all the lectures given in the city. One of the
dreams of his life, the amelioration of the social condition of the
working people, he found himself unable to actualize in any
appreciable degree. It is evident that his brothers shared his
philanthropic views; but when it came to set practically to work
there was a lack of harmony. John Hecker was for attaining the object
by stricter discipline, treating the men rather as servants; while
"we," says Isaac, speaking of himself and George, "took the side of
treating them with kindness, and, as far as possible, as brethren."
In truth, it was evidence of nobility of character in these three
brothers that they could so much as dream of actualizing