in studies not
undertaken as a result of some supernatural impulse, or pursued in
view of some supernatural aim. He looked with the coldest unconcern
upon such investigations of science as promise nothing toward solving
the problems which perplex humanity on the moral side, or which do
not contribute to the natural well-being of men. With the pursuit of
any science which does promise such results he was in the fullest
sympathy, and was himself an unwearied student. It was anything but
intellectual indolence which caused him to put away his books. He was
naturally of a busy temperament: if men who knew him but slightly
might think him visionary, no man could know him at all and consider
him a sluggard. We shall see in the sequel how, under extremely
critical circumstances, the assertion of this principle was wrung
from him by the constraining force of his interior guide. Much of
what follows illustrates this trait of character.

The letter last quoted from had not yet been sent when the answer to
his announcement of June 11 reached him, and he added a postscript.
The only point in it to which he alludes or makes any direct reply is
the gentle expression of his mother's disapprobation of his purpose:

"Your letter and draft, brother George, came this morning. You say
mother would prefer my joining the Anglican Church. The reasons why
she prefers this are such as would doubtless govern me if I did not
feel still deeper and stronger reasons to overcome them. . . . My
present convictions are deeper far than any I have ever experienced,
and are not hastily decided upon."

Turning now to the diary, the entries made at this time seem
especially characteristic:

"June 13, 1844.--I feel very cheerful and at ease since I have
consented to join the Catholic Church. Never have I felt the
quietness, the immovableness, and the permanent rest that I do now.
It is inexpressible. I feel that essential and interior permanence
which nothing exterior can disturb, and no act which it calls on me
to perform will move in the least. It is with a perfect ease and
gracefulness that I never dreamed of that I shall unite with the
Church. It will not change but fix my life. No external relations,
events, or objects can disturb this unreachable quietness or break
the deep repose in which I am.

"The exoteric eye is double; the esoteric eye is single.

"The external world is divisional; the internal world is unity.

"The esoteric includes the