-niversity of London, Sir!

[_Weeps, and pulls out report of stormy meeting of Convocation
of University of London, where new draft charter (of which_
Lord HERSCHELL _and_ Lord Justice FRY _were the most prominent
advocates) was rejected by 461 votes against 197._

II.

Report! It saddens me--and you.
Was it in cruel fun done, Sir!
What QUAIN and HERSCHELL, said was true!
Durham can crow it o'er the U-
-niversity of London, Sir!
-niversity of London, Sir!

[_At the repetition of this line young--but degreeless--Medical
Student groans in cadence._

III.

Degrees! _I_ cannot grant them--true!
Or it were with a run done, Sir.
I'm _only_ the Metropolis. Pooh!
Provincial pedants flout the U-
-niversity of London, Sir!
-niversity of London, Sir!

IV.

Talk of Home Rule? It's all askew!
I have it not, for one done, Sir.
I've taught you; your "trademark"--boohoo!--
I cannot give you at the U-
-niversity of London, Sir!
-niversity of London, Sir!

V.

To knowledge in my halls you grew;
But now you are--dear son, done, Sir!
You're only a mere Medical Stu-
-dent at the sorely slighted U-
-niversity of London, Sir.
-niversity of London, Sir!

VI.

Off--to Newcastle, boy! Adieu!
By that big vote we're undone, Sir.
Provincial Colleges have exclu-
-sive rights denied to the poor U-
-niversity of London, Sir?
-niversity of London, Sir!

[_During the last stanza, M.S. beats his breast with his
stethoscope and goes off--like coals--to Newcastle, or like
mustard--to Durham--to waste valuable time in getting in those
colossal provincial centres what "Poor Little London" cannot
grant him._

* * * * *

BREAKFAST TABLE-TALK.

(_FROM EDISON'S PHRASE-BOOK._)

Good gracious! what was that horrible noise? It sounded like the
falling of a leg of mutton!

Oh! that was only the blow delivered by the Hackney Cockchafer on the
eye of the Midland Wrap-Rascal. It's the best fight I've seen for a
long time.

I wish, then, you would take it with you into another room. I can
scarcely catch a single word of the Rev. JABEZ FISHE's delightful
sermon, to which I am endeavouring to listen.

Heavens! why all the windows are broken! And the mirrors are
shattered! And the chandelier has come down!

Well, my dear, I am very sorry, but I