s. Well, I know it;
But JOE is dead nuts on his go and his skill--
The Blinkers? Oh yes! Horse not used to him yet, Sir,
And if he should spot him, might throw the young pup--
We _must_ "go it blind," only square chance, you bet, Sir,
Of winning,--espesh'lly with JOE's jockey up!

* * * * *

[Illustration C100-259: "GENERAL ELECTION STAKES."

MR. P. "WHAT! RUNNING HIM IN BLINKERS?"

G-SCH-N (_Trainer_). "YES; IT'S THE ONLY CHANCE OF A WIN.--ESPECIALLY
WITH _THAT JOCKEY_ UP!"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: IT'S A GREAT THING FOR A MAN TO KNOW WHEN HE'S WELL
OFF.]

* * * * *

SALISBURY'S VERSION.

(_SEE THE PREMIER'S SPEECH AT GLASGOW._)

War is a game
Which, if Kings have their will,
Peoples won't play at.

* * * * *

"FRENCH AS SHE IS SPOKE."--The indefatigable international
_entrepreneur_, Mr. M.L. MAYER,--who announces himself as "Sole
Manager," evidently, therefore, a fishmonger, and, according to
_Hamlet_, a representatively "honest man,"--intends to save Londoners
the trouble and expense of visiting Paris by giving them three weeks,
from June 15th to July 4th, of French plays, performed by the Theatre
Francais Company, including Mesdames REICHENBERG and DUDLEY, three
COQUELINS, one FEBVRE, and one MOUNET SULLY, at the Royalty Theatre.
Those whose hobby is the French Theatre, will be delighted to assist
at the start of the well-trained MAYER, who has achieved the curious
feat of "saddling himself" with this responsibility.

* * * * *

PARLIAMENTARY DIAGNOSIS.--"Inflammation"--of temper--is the
preliminary of "Congestion"--of business, and these threaten to
culminate in "Collapse"--of credit.

* * * * *

LEAVES FROM A CANDIDATE'S DIARY.

_May 13th._--Expenses keep mounting up. On Saturday received a letter
from BLISSOP (Secretary of the Association), stating that it was
deemed necessary to take a new Committee-room in Main Street, and
asking me if they might draw on me for the cost of furnishing it, a
matter of about L15. Replied that I must take time to consider whether
such expenditure was proper. Three more charitable institutions claim
me as an annual subscriber, and the Billsbury Free Hospital Committee
have informed me that CHUBSON always gives them