iberal praise upon _Les Huguenots_.
DRURIOLANUS may well beam upon the crammed house, viewing a portion of
it with his nose over the ledge of the stall gangway portal; well may
he smile, hum the melodies to himself (what better audience can he
have for the performance!) expand in full bloom and speak joyously
out of the very fulness of his heart and pocket; nay, for the moment
he may even look upon the sheriffship and all its glory as a mere
vanity of vanities, in comparison with the proud position of being
DRURIOLANUS OPERATICUS MAGNIFICISSIMUS, who has given opera-goers
this new and rare edition of _Les Huguenots_. The gloved hand and
the lorgnette of H.R.H. are visible in the omnibus-box, where our
music-loving Prince is happily congratulating himself on another
little FIFE being added to the harmonious Royal Band, while the
loyal public is mightily pleased thus to have it proved to ocular
demonstration, that the subtle villain, Influenza, has been baulked in
his traitorous attempt on the Royal Personage, and they sincerely hope
that the insidious poisoner, being thus arrested in his course, may,
with all his treacherous _bacilli_, be for ever banished this happy
and generally healthy realm.

* * * * *

COMPETITION IN THE FUTURE.

SCENE--_A Barrack-Room_. PRESENT--_President and Members of a
Board of Examiners, sitting to pass Candidates for Commissions
in the Line._

_President_. Now, Gentlemen, I think we are agreed that cramming is to
be discouraged. We want an officer who can command a company, and not
a scholar who can floor a paper for high-class honours--that is the
general idea, Gentlemen, isn't it?

_Chorus of Members_. Quite so.

_Pres._ Exactly. Orderly, pass the word that we will see Mr. MUGGER.
(_The word is passed, when enter First Candidate._) Glad to see you,
Sir. Pray sit down. I think you were at school?

_First Candidate_ (_nervously_). Yes, Sir, at Eton.

_Pres._ Humph! (_Aside, to his Colleagues._) Rather an unpromising
commencement. However, he may have devoted more of his time to cricket
or football in the Playing Fields than to anything else. (_Aloud._) I
hope you have not been to the University?

_First Can._ (_almost moved to tears_). Alas, Gentlemen, my father
_would_ send me to Christchurch, and I am sorry to say I took a Double
First!

_Pres._ (_courteous, but sad_). I am afraid that will do. (_Exit First
Candidate, striving in vain