health, and manny appy returns of the day?
Why you can amost hear 'em.

And now jest a word and a hint to all our great Painters. Pray what
is picters painted for? Is it to make peeple werry sollem, and werry
sorry, and werry unappy? Ain't we got reel trubbles, and reel sorrows
enuff in the world, without painting sham ones? And yet I do declare
that, arter looking at them two wundurful picters of "_The Crisis_,"
and "_The Doctor_," and feeling as there wasn't not no chance for
either of the poor things to recover, that the kind Doctor's trubble
was all in wain, and that the poor Mother wood soon have to bear the
awfullest trubble as she coud ewer know, I left the place as fast as
I coud get out, for fear the peeple shoud notice the big round tears
as woud run down my silly old cheeks. Oh, Mr. FILDES, Mr. FILDES, to
think that jest a few little delicate touches of your magic brush
woud have sent away thousands of appy hearts, instead of hundreds of
miserable ones, ort to make you resolve always to put jest a gleam of
hope in your wunderful pictures in future.

There was about the same number of staggerers as ushal, and I again
arsks, who has the hordacity to buy 'em? I wunder what Mrs. ROBERT
woud say if I took one home to my sober dwelling! But, jest as I was a
coming away, I seed one of the most howdacions of the lot, and it was
named "_The Judgment of Paris"!_ I had often heard as the French was
werry free and bold in all these sort of things, but I newer coud have
thort that our Royal Academy swells coud have so lowered theirselves
as to condescend to submit the whole of the Picters in the Exhibition
to the judgment of the Paris Painters, or that they wood have slected
the greatest staggerer as the one in their judgment the most worthy of
the werry fust prize. I don't think as it says much for their taste.

ROBERT.

* * * * *

OBVIOUS.

The _Times_ says, sagely, "There is a good deal of human nature
in Ireland." That would not so much matter if there were less of
_in_human nature--as exemplified in "carding" women, "houghing"
cattle--and ruthlessly evicting rack-rented tenants.

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

_House of Commons, Thursday, May 21._--House resumed to-day, after
so-called Whitsun holidays. Weren't to have come back till Monday. OLD
MORALITY settled that before he went off to Southern c