ve you. It was in vain that I spread those gracious words of
yours broadcast throughout the land. They only laughed at your
Majesty.

_The Kaiser_. Yes, I know they did, curse them.

_Count B._ Then there came the deplorable sinking of the _Lusitania_.

_The Kaiser_. Oh, don't speak to me of the _Lusitania_. I'm sick to
death of the very name. Besides, how do you dare to call her sinking
deplorable? I authorised it; that ought to be enough for you and for
everybody else.

_Count B._ I beg your Majesty's pardon. When I said "deplorable" I was
alluding not so much to the act itself as to its effect on opinion in
the United States. From that moment the Americans stiffened in their
attitude towards us and became definitely and strongly unfavourable.
I warned your Majesty of this over and over again, but your Majesty
preferred to disregard what I said.

_The Kaiser_. And have you any complaint to make? Is your opinion of
yourself so high that one may not without sacrilege disregard your
opinion?

_Count B._ Your Majesty is pleased to jest. I am not infallible, not
being an Emperor, but I happen in this case to have been right. And
then on the top of all the other things comes the Note announcing the
new under-sea policy, and the ridiculous offer to allow the Americans
to be safe in one ship a week, provided she is painted in a certain
way. No, really, with a proud nation--

_The Kaiser_. Proud! A race of huckstering money-grubbers.

_Count B._ With a proud nation--I must repeat it, your Majesty--such
a course must lead straight to war. But perhaps that was what your
advisers wanted, though I cannot see why they should want it. But for
myself I must ask your Majesty to remember that I foretold what has
come to pass. There is perhaps yet time to undo the mischief.

_The Kaiser_. No, it is too late.

* * * * *

AS OTHERS SEE US.

The General Officer Commanding, as he appears to:

(1) _His Chief of Staff_.--The one insuperable obstacle to tactical
triumphs such as CAESAR and NAPOLEON never knew.

(2) _His youngest A.D.C._--A perpetual fountain of unsterilized
language.

(3) _Certain Subalterns_.--The greatest man on earth.

(4) _Tommy Atkins_.--A benevolent old buffer in scarlet and gold who
periodically takes an inexplicable interest in Tommy's belt and brass
buttons. An excuse for his sergeant's making him present arms.

(5) _The British Public_.--A name in the newspapers.